Tuesday, March 25, 2014

It's in the air!

I saw someone wearing shorts and a t-shirt yesterday on my way home from my C IV.  It was a nice sunny warm day but I was still cold.  I've been cold a lot lately, probably because I am only 107 pounds and have pretty much no insulation on my body.  I am trying to gain some weight back though.  Believe it or not it is not as easy as you may think.
Me and Pa hanging out on the river

Once again it has been a strange year off to a strange start.  About a month or so ago I started having that pain in the middle of my abdomen again, right where my ribs come together at the bottom of my ribcage.  It feels like someone driving a knife into my stomach.  It hurts a LOT.  I took a couple of oxycodone and it didn't even tough the pain.  So I took some morphine and same deal, no relief.  Then I decided to go to the emergency room, knowing that they would not be able to do anything except give me more painkillers and at least they could monitor me in the meantime.  So off I went, drove myself to the ER and drove myself  back home again about 4 hours later.  Luckily it was only about 6 blocks away.  Then I had a bunch of family come to stay with me because I couldn't drive anywhere due to all the morphine I was on.  Gramma came for a week, then dad came and ended up coming back again for a total of about 3 weeks.

New port and old ones...
My new superport didn't heal very well due to all the scar tissue from the previous site.  So I had to go and get yet another port placed around valentines day.  This one is on the other side in fresh virgin flesh so it should be alright and is already looking better than the previous two ever did.  Finally!

I ended up  being admitted to the hospital for the pain.  I was there for two nights and three days all the while running tests and MRI's of my head to see if there was a tumor there that might be causing my trouble.  Those all checked out just fine.  I did a barium swallow and it was fine until it got to my large intestine.  Then they discovered a giant roadblock.  I was severely constipated.  The barium I had swallowed stayed in my system for three days because it had no where to go!  Then they released me.  I was so upset.  How was I supposed to take care of this all by myself and didn't they care that I was full of shit, literally!   If you're one of those TMI people you may not want to read this part.  I got home and did a warm water enema which helped a little.  I gave myself a break for a day and powered down two dulcolax tablets and low and behold things moved, a LOT!  I can honestly say it was one of the biggest reliefs ever.  My pain was so bad for so long I quite honestly thought I was going to die.  The head pharmacist at the hospital gave me a very helpful piece of information and I stick to it religiously now because I never EVER want that to happen again....anytime I take anything that could cause constipation I take a Senna S to go with it.  This so far has helped me immensely!  I also found out that I cannot live on soft foods alone, like soup, smoothies and juice.  My body really needs to have something solid to work on otherwise it forgets how to digest.

I am now taking motility drugs to help with my body's digestive process and something called gabapentin for nerve pain.  The little sac that holds all my liver and bile duct etc has nerve endings in it and due to the swelling from chemo and cancer etc it is what really starts hurting.  Ever since I have been on the nerve pain pills (which don't leave me feeling woozy) my pain has been pretty much in the manageable category and that is a very good thing.  For now I am still taking motility drugs and I am hoping that eventually my body will remember how to digest again and I may get to stop taking them.
Digging for agates.

It has been a busy, busy past couple of months in LauraLand.  I am hoping things will settle down now and I can start planning some summer fun for my family and I.  I got to get out and go agate hunting with my dad and brother and sister this past weekend and it was so nice to get out into the woods for a bit.  However I was so tired hiking out that my dad had to carry my loot of agates. But we found quite a few and even some as big as my fist!  One that looked like a crazy horn even.

Ever since I got out of the hospital every day is a little better than the last and my energy is starting to come back slowly.  Sleep is still one of my favorite past times and I keep hearing that is ok because this is when your body is healing itself and I can use all of the healing I can get.  Since I was in the hospital and laid up for a while I wasn't able to get an IV for a week or two and I can really feel the difference in energy levels.  I just got one yesterday and am already starting to feel my cells jumping for joy!

Colored pencil shavings.  Cool huh?!
I've been doing a lot of craft stuff at home.  On of my new favorite things to do is to paint rocks...stupid sounding I know but it is calming and relaxing and it is fun to see what you can create.  Most of them get given away but that is most of the fun!  I am still making mobiles and working on a way to drill holes in the polished agates I have found so that I can make jewelry out of them soon.  I also have plans to make wall hanging jewelry holders in addition to mobiles so if anyone needs gifts for mothers day or whatever please think of me and  a home made item instead of a gift card or a big box gift. :)

I still miss my kitty like crazy and even find myself crying at the drop of a hat when I see something that reminds me of her or if I think about how her presence is missing in my home. I am happy though that she is in no more pain and discomfort and I just know that she is here with me all the time but it sure would be nice to pet her and snuggle up on the couch for a nap together.  I miss her smell and her soft fuzzy fur.  I even miss the icky stuff like cleaning up after her accidents and having to be home at certain times just to give her medications.  I can't wait to see her again but I am in no hurry to get there just yet either. :)

My kitty soulmate, rest in piece little girl. I love you!
I am also (always) accepting donations to help pay for my vitamin C IV's so if any of you are able to help out at all I would be forever grateful.  Even $1 helps.  There are multiple ways to donate to my cause and gift cards for gas or Fred Meyer for groceries or trader Joe's or Whole Foods even are lifesavers for me as my food stamp money does not last me for the entire month.  You can also donate directly to my doctors office at The Center for Traditional Medicine in Lake Oswego by calling them and telling them that you would like to put money into my account.  The phone number is 503-636-2734.  Again, ANY AMOUNT IS GREATLY APPRECIATED AND VERY MUCH NEEDED!  I am still kicking some cancer ass and I most certainly know that I wouldn't even be here today if it was not for you all and your support in every way.  Thank you all so much and I hope you know that my love for you all is endless as well as my gratitude.

Remember, we never, ever have a tomorrow.  All we have is this moment today right now.  And no matter how bad life is it can always and I mean always be worse. :)

Cancer Can Suck It!