Friday, December 31, 2010

Day 241, New Years Eve

It is the last day of the year.  Back in March I didn't even know if I would be alive to see today.  All the statistics said I wouldn't be.  I have broken those statistics and made my own now.  Every day is a blessing, but I also know now something that I didn't know then.  I AM GOING TO LIVE FOR A LONG LONG TIME! Guaranteed! Yes I may die of cancer, but who is to say that I wouldn't have already died if I did not know I had cancer, right??

2010 has been the best year of my life.

I got diagnosed with cancer which sounds pretty crappy, but this diagnosis is what has completely changed my life all for the better.  I appreciate so much more about myself, my world, my friends, people I don't even know, my family, my cat and dog, my boyfriend, everyone and everything that I would have normally not even thought about.  I take better care of myself, I eat better food, use better products in my home and on my body and try to listen to what my body is telling me (doesn't always work but hey, i'm trying).
Everything in my life is so much better now.  Yes, a lot of the time I don't feel the greatest and my liver hurts but I know that will not always be.  It hurts because the chemo is destroying the cancer, things like cancer don't just die peacefully, it goes out kicking and screaming and all the way hoping it will take you down with it. Not gonna happen.

I wish you all the very best for the upcoming year.
I hope you make good choices for yourself and your family.
I hope you wake up every morning and are thankful for what you have.
I hope you give and receive love freely.
I hope you are not too hard on yourself for what it is you think you should be doing instead.
I hope you consider our environment and make appropriate choices to preserve it.
I hope you eat better, organic, natural, no chemicals etc, so you can live a long time.
I hope you know that you are loved and appreciated every day.
I hope you can see the beauty and good in everything, even the bad.
I hope you have the very best year ever, but remember to take it day by day, because we do not have a tomorrow, none of us do.  All we have is THIS moment, act and live like it was your last.

Much love and happiness,
The Cancer Assassin

Day 231...It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Indeed it is.  I have always loved the holidays.  People seem extra friendly and cheerful, I love the decorations and absolutely love looking at all the lights in the neighborhoods.  Portland has Seattle beat hands down for more people decorating for the holidays and I love it!  We have got our stockings hung by the fire with care :) our little tree up in the window and even the animals seem to be getting into the holiday spirit.  I've caught Clark sniffing all the ornaments he could reach on the tree, super cute! And my Pot Pie has been loving hanging out on the little bench we placed for her by the tree so she can see out the window...she looks like a fluffy kitty present :)

Friday, December 10, 2010

Day 220 Synthesis Paper Done!

I am in a slight case of shock right now as I sit here updating everyone on the news!

Drum roll please.....


If you are interested in checking it out, it is actually a website and I would feel honored if you did.
Uncle Linnaeus
I am registered for school (I think) and the financial aid is in place now to pay for it (thank heavens) and my girlfriend Stephanie (Bills) is coming on Monday and she is bringing uncle Linnaeus (her pup) to come and stay with us for Christmas while she visits family...well, she is also visiting too, we haven't seen each other in ages!  We are going to go to the Meadows and going snowboarding together AND she is gonna get to meet my other mama Lynda at the naturopath.  I am almost tingly at how relieved I am to have this paper done.  I feel that I can now begin to enjoy the holidays and actually relax so I can rebuild my strength (maybe put on some weight) and finish up on my last class next quarter which I am super psyched about.

Anyway, just wanted to direct you to MY WEBSITE and to tell you all again thank you so much for your support.  You really have no idea how much this gets me through every single day, really...thank you.

I also have been encouraged by friends and family to put up another ChipIn on my blog.  I must admit that it is a humbling experience and it feels very narcissistic AND I am extremely lucky to have insurance that covers almost everything but what is really wrong with our healthcare system is that it does not recognize natural medicine as medicine, therefore it is not covered at all.  I spend, on average, $800 per month at the naturopath between IV therapy and supplements.  CRAZY!  I have had to cut my visits from 3 to 2 to accommodate for the decline in the savings account.  Mama Lynda says that two times is really good but 3 would be better.  The more I go the stronger my body is and the more chemo I can withstand killing more cancer, etc.  You all have helped so much already and I want to thank you again from the bottom of my heart and soul for all you do for me.  YOU are ALL my inspiration.