I hope that everyone has been doing well, staying healthy and happy and having a wonderful new year!
It's about time that I gave everyone a big update on what's been going on since the holidays. I had a wonderful Christmas with my parents. I got to spend some quality time with my mom and dad although the time I spent with my dad was mostly spent on the couch in pain. Luckily by the time my mom got into town the pain was mostly gone and I got to enjoy myself more.
Which brings me to what has been happening health/cancer wise in my world. I had my CT scan on January 23rd. Had a bit of bad news. It looks like I have a new tumor growing in my liver again over on the right side this time. The other tumor that got radiated is still not growing and is looking more like it is still dying and the tumors in my lymph nodes are still just hanging out being peaceful. My oncologist said that if new tumor does not shrink or respond to the current chemo that I might have to go onto a new chemo combo called Folfox. I am really hoping not to have to be presented with this choice. Folfox is a combo of 4 chemo drugs that gets administered in two stages, one day in chemo at the clinic then they leave you hooked up through your port for 36 more hours while you take it home and sleep/function with it attached to you as well as a pump that you have to carry around. It slowly drips in over the 36 hours. Next another trip to the oncologist is required so that they can disconnect you, ultimately and effectively removing 4 days of your life in appointments or being hooked up to a chemo pump. Like I said, I am focusing on manifesting good results and a shrinking tumor so that this does not become my new reality. I will know for sure when it is time for my next scan and that is sometime near the end of March, so about a month from now...Send positive thoughts please! Oxxo!
Next on the list of health woes is that the 3 years of chemotherapy I have received has really done a huge number on my poor gallbladder. It has shrunk so much that the technicians cannot even find it in a number of scans. It has really taken a beating from the extended chemotherapy treatments (plus it may not have ever worked properly for a long time anyway leading to my cancer perhaps). As a result of all the abuse it tends to hurt profusely after my chemo and vitamin C treatments. The first time it hurt the excruciating pain lasted for about 4 days. The second time it happened the excruciating pain lasted for about 7 days, and the most recent time the pain only lasted for about 3 days. The pain is so severe it feels like I am being stabbed with a knife in my right side. I cannot breathe in very deep and as a result am always out of breath and energy. It hurts to move, to lie on my right side, to eat, to poop, to sit, to do just about anything but lay down and try to find relief with a heating pad. Once the pain gets bad enough I resort to oxycodone and morphine to find much needed relief, which only leads to more issues I will save you from.
I have been asked why I don't simply get my gallbladder removed. Unfortunately it isn't that easy or I would trust me. Turns out my cancer originated in my bile duct which is connected directly to your gallbladder so in order to remove my gallbladder they would have to cut through cancerous tissue and risk spreading the cancer all over at that point. This is simply not even an option in my book. So to find some sort of a solution I consulted my naturopath to see what he had to offer. He gave me some dandelion tincture to drink in hot water 3 times a day and also some homeopathic remedy (mandrake) to take 6 times a day and so far I have to say that I have noticed a large difference. I still ache constantly but I have not had the side stabbing excruciating pain like before. Once in a while there will be a little stab here and there but I really can't complain too much about that. I have been a little afraid to get a vitamin C IV for the past couple of weeks because those seem to cause gallbladder pain as well. Instead I have been getting some nutritive IV's to try to soothe my little GB. This Friday I am back on the vitamin C's though and I am trying not to focus on being afraid of if it is gonna make me hurt. Thinking positive thoughts!
So to make a long story shorter I have been mostly feeling fatigued, in a LOT of pain, and completely unmotivated but the good part about all of it is that even these times have been punctuated by some really awesome quality time with friends and family. I really have enjoyed my time with my mom too as I haven't really been able to spend as much time with her since last July. She has been really busy working and it isn't easy for us to make the three hour trip to visit for a weekend. We are really looking forward to trying to plan some kind of get away this spring/summer for a week or longer. I am wondering if any of my friends out there have a condo/or rental somewhere awesome where one can unwind, relax, and recharge, preferably somewhere warm :) If so please let me know and we can discuss price and details.
Much love to you all and many, many healthy blessings!
CANCER CAN SUCK IT!!!