Last day of the double digits, tomorrow is day 100 since I have been diagnosed with cancer. It is really strange in a way. 99 days ago I didn't know if I would be making a 100th post or not. I had no idea what to expect. As soon as I was told "you have cancer" I thought the rest of my life was going to be spent in the hospital, hairless, wasting away with machines all around me keeping me alive. I remember that at first I did not want to tell anyone for fear that they would treat me differently or stop talking to me altogether. I have found this to be somewhat true for some. People just don't know what to say to someone who has been diagnosed with cancer. I imagine that it must be a bit awkward but rest assured that I would rather hear from you and correspond with you than not. If you are feeling awkward about how to start a conversation with the cancer girl you shouldn't. I am still the same old me :) just a lot healthier now and with a better more positive outlook on life and a lot less stressed.
A friend of mine Jennifer just said the other day that she is replacing all of her "I have to's with I get to's which reminded me of what my boyfriend Jeff said to me at about day 2 or 3. Now you get to get healthy. What if we all did this? What if we said "I get to see the sunrise today" when we are up earlier than we want to be. What if we said" I get to do chores and run errands", or "I get to exercise and eat well", or "I get to take care of our environment and the earth" so many do not have the luxury of getting to, but we do. How truly lucky we are! Thanks Jennifer for reminding us of this little change in attitude we can make to create a better reality for ourselves. After all the less stress we have in our lives the less dis-ease we also have.
Now I get to go to the oncologist this afternoon :) I have been nervously looking forward to this moment for 99 days. I get to see the results of my last CT scan from Monday. Nervous? You bet! I know that the place in my stomach feels a lot different now, less hard and not as large...It also does not hurt to breathe like it did before so that is good. I will keep you all posted on what I saw and what the doc said. Forgive me if it takes a day or so but I will let you all know, promise :)
My ChipIn thing expired and I couldn't just go in and scoot the date out farther so I had to create a new one that starts all over again at $0. Just to let you all know that with all of your support the contributions to the last chip in account came to a total of $8766.93!!!!! I cannot even begin to express how thankful and touched I am by all of your support! I am so blessed to be among such wonderful, inspiring and selfless people. I wish I could personally give all of you a big hug and kiss, so consider yourself hugged and kissed :) or find someone to deliver them to you, a significant other, or son or daughter, or friend or total stranger....be creative :)