Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Day 56

Sorry everyone for the delay in posting. It has been a busy week.

It is day 56. It feels like so much longer than that and somehow it also feels like I just found out. Being a cancer survivor has become a full time job requiring pretty much all of my attention and energy. There is always, and I mean always something to do.

I find myself wanting time for things such as yoga or meditation or relaxing or journaling but never being able to do them because I am on the phone making appointments or going to appointments or filling out paperwork or dealing with trying to find health care or disability or state insurance which for some reason or another I am apparently unqualified for.

I read constantly. I read books about how to try to stay alive and healthy. I read books to help me relax and visualize myself being healthy and alive and to assassinate those nasty cancer cells in my body. Whenever I hurt I tell myself it is just the cancer being assassinated.

It seems I have come pretty much glued to my laptop either doing research or filling out forms for some agency or another. I am almost always on it for about 3-4 hours a day and I wish I could say that most of it was for homework or pleasure but I can't. I am glad I purchased my mac before I found out, I like it so much better than my PC.

I have had headaches lately and I have never been one to be prone to getting them. I drink lots of water so I don't think that is why but I think it does have something to do with my diet and I am excited to see the naturopath tomorrow to find out how I can eat better. I have a feeling that I am limiting myself too much in my diet or maybe I'm just not eating enough. We will see.

Ok, so I am losing my hair. It isn't coming out in chunks but it is thinning. I don't mind really but I must say that it is pretty shocking to see so much hair not just in the drain, but on the floor or furniture or pillow or food or computer....you get the picture. I guess I might get to see how lumpy my head is after all. I know there are some good ones up there. Once, on my birthday (October 17) in about 2005 or 06 I was out playing disc golf with my friends Ryan and Zac and the wind started to blow like it does in the fall and the leaves were all blowing around in the air and it was really pretty. I pointed to it and something like "Wow guys look at how pretty that is" and all of the sudden WHAM! I got hit on the top of my head by something. It knocked me silly and I just swaggered around and looked at Ryan and Zac and wondered what they did to me or if I got hit by a crazy rogue disc. Ended up that the wind blew a branch about the size of my forearm out of the tree above me and I happened to be between it and the ground. Of all the things to happen and on your birthday too! I may just get to see the dent on my head from that pretty soon. At least I will have a good story to tell right?! heehee....

Ok, updates

I got a call from Sarah at the Mayo Clinic today. She said the doctor will be in tomorrow and he will be looking at my records. She will contact me when he is done to let me know what he said. They are two hours ahead of us here in the PNW so I am hoping to hear the word around lunchtime after my appointment with the naturopath. I will keep you posted on that. Keep fingers crossed for liver transplant.

Thursday is filled with a meeting with social security to see if I can qualify for disability. Then it is off to the chemo suite for some more toxic cocktail. mmmmmm......toxic cocktail.......Fry those suckers!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIME FOR ANOTHER SHOUT OUT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have said it once, but it really needs to be said again.
I have the most amazing friends in the entire world, hands down, without a doubt I have the pleasure and blessing of knowing the most wonderful and selfless people in the world.

The repostings that you make on facebook are so incredibly helpful. Thank you all for what you do! You are utterly beautiful and amazing people and I appreciate and value every one of you more than you know. I am truly blessed to be able to share my life with you and I am proud to call you all my friends.

I have had many people ask me where to find the donation site for the ChipIn/PayPal account that I created. I just wanted to put a link on here to make it easy. You can also find it on day 37 (just click on April) of my blog. Again thank you so much for your contributions. You have no idea how much I appreciate it and how needed it is.

I just realized that anyone can repost this ChipIn site to their blog or website or maybe even to facebook under "Copy" at the bottomish of the box. Feel free to spread it around :)


  1. Cool- it's great to see the donations are building up! I am sorry I missed your visit to Olympia last weekend but I had been there the previous weekend/week for my mom's surgery - I hope to catch you on another visit. I love your positive attitude about your hair and your story about the log hitting your head. . .OUCH! Hope you get some time for you soon. . .sounds like you have a spa day coming! Thinking of you often Kelly

  2. Oh - and looking forward to finding out what Mayo Clinic has to say as well as praying for you to get on disability tomorrow - love you Laura :) KW

  3. Thanks Kelly!
    Please give bug hugs and kisses to your mom for me. I will see you both soon.

  4. Laura,

    i love the humor you have in what i would consider to be a dark time. Save my ass inc? I lol'd at that =p
    thank you for keeping us updated. take care and see you at graduation!