Thursday, May 20, 2010

Day 58

Called the Mayo Clinic today, talked to them on my way to my chemotherapy appointment and to see my homeboy (my onc.) Turns out that I am not a candidate for a liver transplant (living or deceased) because I have so much cancer in my liver (all over all lobes) and a giant tumor (9cm) on the right side of it, that they wont transplant me for medical reasons that anyone has yet to explain to me. Apparently they said the cancer spread all over my liver and that is why they can't give me a new liver. Now, I know i am slow because of the whole chemo brain thing but does that make any sense to you? Come one guys! Give the girl a liver here cause if ya don't the cancer will spread outside of the liver and then things will get really ugly. Give the liver to someone who needs it, like ME dammit!

Sheesh.....like the old saying goes, guess if you want anything done right you just gotta do it yourself sometimes. I've gotta find my own inner owners manual, bust out the coveralls, roll up my sleeves and and get my thigh high cancer ass kicking boosts on and get medieval on those nasty little bastards!  I fried 'em today.  Yeah, take that!

Didn't qualify for social security because The City of Redmond, where I used to work, doesn't pay in to social security.  They have some other benefit account and you pay into that instead.  When I left there to go back to school for my MaEd I took it all out (about $5000) to live on while I was in grad school.  So now, nothin' honey :)  They said that I might qualify for some other benefit though and I will know about that at the beginning of June.  It depends on the severity or stage of my cancer and since I am what they call a "Stage IV" I will get through the system quicker because the diagnosis is grimmer.

Speaking of grim statistics, if you look up the statistics for cholangiocarcinoma they really don't look very good at all.  Here is how I feel about that.  These statistics are based on 60-70year old something people who already have other health problems like high cholesterol or diabetes or heart trouble or all of them and then some.  These are not statistics based on "Laura York".  I make my own damn statistics.  What you focus on expands.  I learned that from a wise friend long ago.

That's the news for the day.  Oh, Clark and I are having a contest it seems to see who can get the most hair on the floor.  Have a nice night, I'm gonna go zone out in front of the t.v. now and wait for my honey to get home from school.

And yes,

CANCER CAN SUCK IT!



8 comments:

  1. Did you get a chance to read the Gerson book? I'm totally sold on their treatment.
    Thinking about taking their training.
    Thinking of you! much love - dd

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cancer be annihilated in Jesus name! Cancer GO NOW! LIVER BE WHOLE NOW! Fear of cancer GO NOW! Cells be normal! Tissues and muscles be normal! All body systems be whole NOW! NEVER COME BACK in the name of JESUS!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dave,
    The Gerson book is next in my que. I am excited to read it. I am looking for the perfect retreat center to attend for a week or two. So far the Hollyhock center in canada has my first choice. Although the one in Hawaii didn't look too bad either :)
    Much love!
    Laura

    ReplyDelete
  4. Cool! I highlighted the parts I thought would be most important so you wouldn't have to read it all. although I thought it all was an interesting read.
    They are all about kicking cancers ass and they do it with a much higher success rate than you will find in the US. They are focused and serious!
    They are not a retreat like Hollyhock.
    My 10 cents
    love ya!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm so sorry Laura - that sucks big time! I cannot understand why in the world they don't give the girl with the cancerous liver the liver! Have you looked into things out of the country yet? We'll keep praying and thinking positively because I know you have not given up! Keep living girl! Meanwhile I'm getting responses from my friends about where to donate so hopefully when you find something to help you the money will be there for it. Love you cousin.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are awesome :) Sending you peace and comfort from BI!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I still can't believe the weird regulations for a liver transplant! That is so frustrating! Laura, you are such an amazing source of inspiration for all of us. Every time I read your blog your strength, optimism, and beauty shines through. Keep on taking care of yourself and being the fabulous person you are! :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi Laura. I am a musician and will be playing at your benefit at the White Eagle later this month. I don't know you in person but I have read all of your blogs entries and am truly touched and floored by your grace. My prayers and thoughts and wishes are with you...
    -Jess

    ReplyDelete