Supplements...Why they are good for me and maybe you too.

I have been a getting neglectful about taking my supplements lately.  Over the summer last year I was really nauseous from just about everything and I began taking less supplements since I didn't want to sacrifice them to the porcelain god (nothing stayed down and let's face it, they cost a lot of money).  This kind of ended up turning into a habit that led me to the point of forgetting (a lot) to take my supplements, well, that and they are expensive because I take a lot.  I have been doing that with another medicine I take on a daily basis as well, my LDN, but I was reminded recently by one of my angels that I shouldn't be doing that.  It's weird how the universe works, just when I was reminded about slacking on the supplements my nurse calls and reminds me how important taking my LDN and UREA every day are.  Of course she called under the pretense of wanting to update my current medical chart and to verify what I was taking.  She is sneaky, lovey like that.  She calls me Sugarbuttons.  I love her!

I am reminding myself of how important it is to take my supplements by posting about them here on my blog.  I get a lot of questions about the supplements I take and I thought that as long as I am reminding myself of how important it is to take them I would share that information with you all too.  After all, that is partly why this blog is here so you don't have to do all that research or at least so that it can give you a good starting point for finding more good stuff.

I have decided that the best way to remind myself about the importance of these supplements is to research the beneficial properties (and those specifically related to cancer) of each and every one.  If it is one that has multiple ingredients such as Liver Support, then I will explore each ingredient.  I have been learning a lot! Don't get me wrong, my naturopath has told me why these are important but a) I forgot, b) there are a lot, and c) why not learn more? Instead of just blindly taking my supplements I will know just exactly how good they are for me each time I swallow one and I can be mindful about sending them on their way to do their job in my body.

my supplement basket

I take a lot and instead of bombarding you (and me) with all of them at once I will break them down into smaller groups.  On the list today are Green Tea Extract, Quercetin, Curamed, Vit D3, and Shark Liver Oil.  You can find almost every one of these on Amazon but I will provide the link to the exact brand I take if I can.


Green Tea Extract
Green tea extract has all kinds of good stuff in it called flavonoids.  Flavonoids have antiviral, anti-inflammatory, anti-allergic, anti-tumor, and antioxidant properties.  They protect cells against cellular damage such as cancer, aging, atherosclerosis, inflammation, and neurodegenerative diseases.  You can find flavonoids in apple skins, blueberries, broccoli, cabbage, capers, onions, strawberries, red grapes, red wine and tea.  Quercetin (found in fruits, veggies and onions) is one of the most potent flavonoids and is great for many things (I will cover this later).   I take 1 cap/2x day.


Quercetin

As I mentioned above quercetin is one of the most potent flavonoids.  Studies show that quercetin is great defense against allergies, asthma, heart disease, high cholesterol, RA, bladder pain or bladder infections, prostate inflammation, and cancer.  I take 1 cap/3x day.

CuraMed

This contains both micronized curcumin (for better absorption) and turmeric essential oil and phospholipids which make up the construction of cell membranes.  Curcumin is great for your intestines and digestion, has anti-inflammatory properties, boosts cellular gluatathione levels, prevents liver damage, detoxifies the liver, and helps keep the liver healthy during chemotherapy and cancer treatments, and it can help prevent and treat cancer.  I take 2 caps/3x day.

Vitamin D3

I had no idea that vitamin D was so great for you.  Vitamin D promotes intestinal calcium and phosphorus absorption, supports cardiovascular function, colon health, and general cellular support and is well known to kill cancer by causing apoptosis (cell death).  I take 1 cap/day.

Shark Liver Oil

I think that this one surprised me the most.  I think I just assumed that since it was liver oil it must be good for my liver and never questioned why but wow this one is great!  Shark liver oil boosts the immune system, fights infections, heals wounds, treats cancer, and lessens the effects of conventional cancer treatments making it great for anyone going through chemotherapy or trying to get over chemotherapy side effects.  Shark liver oil contains alkylglycerols which kill indirectly kill cancer cells by activating the immune system.  Alkylglycerols are found in mother's milk as well as certain class of fish called elasmobranch which are distinctive for their gill structure.  The alkylglycerols stimulate the bone marrow cells to make white blood cells, red blood cells, and platelets making it great once again for those of us who have low blood counts and leucopoenia.  I take 2 tabs/3x day...right now I am out so this is on my supplement wish list.  

I am so glad that I decided to take a closer look at my supplements and get myself reacquainted with them again.  It is less of a burden to take so many pills knowing that they are so good for you! It certainly makes them easier to swallow.  To see my entire supplement list during and after chemo please check my recent post Questions Answered.  And as always please seek professional advice preferably from a naturopath or other natural doctor before taking supplements willy nilly please.

Sick and tired of being sick and tired

An old Halloween picture.  I was about 24 years old here.

I've been having that guilt lately.  The "I wanna really write a new blog post and I really have a lot to say, but I really don't have the energy or the motivation." guilt.  I know many of my other blogger buddies out there know this guilt too.  I wont lie, its been rough lately.  I haven't felt very energetic.  I've been tired a lot and doing a lot of sleeping.  I've been mostly upstairs kind of keeping my distance from everyone (we have some house guests/family staying with us for a few months, 2 adults and 1 toddler and 1 infant) trying to not get sick from the extra germs in the house and making room for 4 more people.  Sometimes I feel like Rapunzel locked away high in a tower waiting for her prince to save her, but mostly I just feel tired and not very much like being social.
I've been neglecting/avoiding my vitamins and supplements.  It seems like every time I take them now I just end up getting sick, wasting money by just flushing them down the toilet.  I have an appointment with my naturopath and the new natural oncologist that just recently started working at the Center for Traditional Medicine.  I am once again very lucky, not only to have another awesome doctor on my side who just happens to be a natural oncologist but he also happens to know my "normal" oncologist (he was actually trained by Dr Shao) and they are all on the same page and all know exactly what is going on with me in every aspect which is nothing short of a gigantic blessing in every way.  We are going to discuss my progress in the assassination of my tumors, and how I perhaps now need to focus more on detoxing all of the dead tumor and getting it out of my liver and out of my body instead of concentrating so hard on killing it like I have been for the past 1 year and 8 months.
Everyone keeps congratulating me on my "success" of beating my cancer.  I have very mixed feelings about this.  First of all I want to say most sincerely and from the very bottom of my heart "Thank You".  I have to add though, that I do not feel like celebrating yet.  My oncologist is not convinced.  He says that my cancer (cholangiocarcinoma) is so slow growing that it might not show up on a PET scan and even the guy who said "looks like you've killed it all" was of the opinion that I need to still get chemo for a while just to make certain that all of those bastards are all indeed dead.  So chemo it is, at the very least until the end of this year and then even after that I still may get chemo until the end of spring.  I mean, hell, I've already been through nearly 2 years of chemo, I may as well make certain that I killed them all, what's another few months....So even though I got good news a couple of months ago, I still don't feel it yet.  I still feel tired all the time, I have exercised and gotten out of the house much more infrequently since the arrival of the house guests.  I've been visiting my mom a lot up in Seattle, mostly using that time to sleep and relax or take care of business and trying to shift bills around and change contracts on things to free up a few more dollars for groceries, cat food, etc.  At least once or usually twice (sometimes even 3 times each week) I have doctors appointments or some other type of appointment so I do get out of the house for those, but there are even those times that I feel so crappy I call them and reschedule those appointments.  Honestly I was a little surprised that I got chemo last week as I was feeling much more drained and tired than usual, but the doc said my numbers looked pretty good so we proceeded.   I did get a shot of Aranesp to help me build my red blood cells as they were once again in the toilet.  I guess that stuff is so controlled that even chemo patients can only get it if their red blood cell count falls waaaay below healthy levels.  That particular shot combined with the usual steroids I get before chemo is enough to keep me wide awake until the wee hours of the morning.  I didn't even lay down in my bed or attempt to try to sleep until 4:30 in the morning that day/night.
I wake up completely drenched in sweat at least 4-5 times each and every night.  It literally is dripping and running down my body, my pillow is soaked, my tank is soaked and my legs are even wet.  I literally feel like I stood out in the rain, that's how wet I am.  Then I begin to itch from the sweat.  I constantly itch anyway, it is a wonderful side effect of cholangiocarcinoma, but the sweat itch is THE worst!  I have a huge rash on my face from all the drugs I take, exacerbated by stress and sweat and toxins that my body is trying to flush out.  Once the sweat is drying I then begin to freeze and shake, so once again I grab the blankets and in less than 30 minutes I wake up drenched in sweat again.  This process repeats itself throughout the night until I finally just get up.  Sometimes I go out for a walk and wander the neighborhood at 3 or 4 in the morning hoping that it will cool me down and make me tired so that I will be able to go home, sneak quietly upstairs trying not to wake anyone up,  and crawl back into bed and snuggle with my kitty until I blissfully fall asleep only to wake up around 7am to try to start the day, only to repeat the entire process all over again.
Lately the chemo has been making me extra tired.  I fear that I am backsliding healthwise and I don't like it.  Supposedly everything is supposed to start getting better once you receive news of "remission" but I keep waiting to feel like it.  Don't get me wrong though, I am SO HAPPY to hear that I am indeed kicking cancer ass! I am so incredibly thankful to have my doctors and nurses by my side.  I am blessed that they are so smart and caring and on the cutting edge of health care.  I feel honored that they actually care about me and like me not just because I am their patient but because I am me.  I am also incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful support network out there and so many wonderful friends and family to support me on this arduous journey.  You all are my inspiration and are what keep me going when it is crappy and I begin to lose hope of an end being in sight.
Basically I guess that from time to time I need to have my own little pity party.  I have really been needing to get this off my chest.  I wont feel like I celebrating until it is all over, the cancer is gone, I have my memory back and my body back and my life back.  I always feel so horrible for posting such negative things.  I know that you all don't always want to hear happy, positive stories.  I know you really want to hear about how I truly feel from time to time.  Right now I am feeling pretty sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Day 185 It's been a while...

Here I sit on the sofa watching bad TV...I'm loving it!
It has been busy and stressful, but in good ways most of the time.

August activities were a high school reunion and a visit from one of my best friends who now lives in North Hollywood.  There were street faires, visits from my mom, visits from Stephanie, overnights with girlfriends and the acquisition of Goldie the Westfalia.  The story behind Goldie is very appropriate and fitting.  It was meant to be.

Jeff had been looking for a Westfalia van for weeks.  We were thinking that we were going to have to drive to another state just to find a reasonably priced one.  However one day he just got lucky and found one just on the other side of the river in Washington in the town of Lyle near White Salmon.  The day before Jeff asked me what I thought the Westy would be like.  I said it was going to be perfect, exactly what we were looking for and the price was going to be perfect as well.  We got there and met Gary who was just about the nicest person one could meet.  He showed us what he knew about the van, which wasn't a whole lot because the van had belonged to his mother who had recently passed away.  Gary told us stories about how his mother would love to take the van to different local festivals and how much she loved it.  She lived by herself taking care of herself up until a week before she passed away from cancer.  Gary said that she would love to know that it was going to someone who would love it as much as she did and who would make full use of its amenities.  I then told him about my cancer and how excited we were to go on trips in the van.  Everything was perfect! Just like I had envisioned, focused on and manifested.  The passing of Goldie from that family to ours was simply meant to be.  We love our Westy and treat is as well as we do our own pets.  Goldie does not sit out in the rain, she has her cozy place in our garage.  Jeff made sure of that.  He cleaned and organized the entire garage AND he even cut out a board on the door opening just to make enough space for Goldie to fit inside with her Yakima racks on.  Now that's love!

September was a little more quiet.  Jeff and I went to another Mariners vs Redsox game and it was a blast!  My mom came with us on one of the evening games.  Even though the Mariners didn't win, it was still a blast!

  I had a dentist appointment with the best dentist in the entire world, Dr Perry Jones, DDS in Ballard.  Yes, I drive all the way from Portland just to visit this dentist, that is how awesome he is.  My teeth are looking good he said (he always says that, I guess I have been blessed with good teeth), just a little bit of gum inflamation from the chemo and being so anemic, otherwise perfect teeth so that's good.  Then Clark had to go in for surgery on his other knee.  I saw him blow it out too.  We were on a river somewhere near the ocean and he was walking on uneven rocks and all of the sudden his leg slipped out from under him and then "YELP!" and from that point he was essentially a three legged dog not putting any pressure at all on his injured knee.  Perhaps if he was not such a spastic he would not get into such situations.  He is 7 years old and still acts like a little puppy that knows no rules or when to stop.  Since taking Clark for his surgery we have been pretty much home bound, having to be here with Clark all the time. He has to stay calm, no explosive movements, which is hard for him, so as a result he gets disciplined a lot.  "Clark lay down." "Clark calm down." "NO!" "Sit!" "Stay!" "Calmly Clark!"  it gets really, really old.  My cat hates it.  Clark already dominates the entire house so she doesn't really get much one on one time because Clark always has to have his nose in what is going on afraid that she will get something that he wont.  Plus she doesn't like it when I have to use the stern voice with Clark.  She pretty much just stays in the basement these days while Clark gets the run of the rest of the house.  Poor Pot Pie :(  So anyway, the mutt will not be healed completely for 12 weeks! Yikes!  We are now halfway there, week 6...he gets to go for 10 minute walks this week and every week the time increases by 5 minutes until week 12 when he is healed enough to live "normally" again.

October...ahh I love October!  Not just because my birthday is in October but because of the fall colors, beautiful, beautiful fall colors!  Chilly mornings, warm days, the smell of decaying leaves (love it!).  So most of October was filled with caring for the dog.  I had my friends Tiff and Jay over for my birthday weekend.  It was tons of fun!  We went hiking to Ramona Falls on the Saturday before my birthday and then on my birthday we went to the zoo in Portland.  It was a lot of fun!

 The zoo is actually not bad at all, it was actually one of my favorites as far as zoos go.  The animals had nice habitats (most of them) and just the general lay out of the zoo was very people friendly.  I bonded with the black bear and one other animal that for the life of me I can't remember right now (I know it was some kind of cat though).  I made curtains for my dining room.  I had to make some because Clark kept freaking out every time he saw our neighbors cat on the fence.  Once again, altering life for the dog :)  I'm not complaining though, it was fun to make the curtains.  I do however wish our new neighbors were a little more considerate of the people around them.  They have at least 3 cats that spend more time in our yard and on our front porch than they do at their own home.  I can't even let my cat go out in our yard because they are not nice cats, they are always fighting with the other cats in the hood.  And forget letting Clark out to pee without a leash, he bolts for the cats which is not good as he could re-injure his leg and that would get really spendy.  Stupid neighbors!

Now it is November, where does the time go?  I am going to visit my dad next week for 9 days in Tennessee!  It will be fun!  We are going to go to North Carolina to a place where we can dig for rubies and diamonds!  I am sure we will also stay close to home and hunt arrowheads, most likely go fishing on a river and spend the rest of the time visiting family.  The rest of the family does not know I am coming yet, it is going to be a surprise...of course unless they have read this and then I guess it will not be a surprise anymore....

In the meantime all of these activities are filled in with trips to the naturopath for IV therapy,  weekly trips to the oncologist for checkups and chemotherapy, trips to the acupuncturist, some yoga, mornings spent vomiting, days spent being run down and tired on the sofa, days of high energy when we play disc golf and go hiking or surfing or camping.

I have been feeling pretty good.  There are mornings when it takes me until noon just to feel human.  Days I don't have an appetite or when food just doesn't sound appealing at all.  I have been holding a steady weight at about 126lbs and all the vitals are good.  Right now I am battling anemia, low white and red blood cells and low platelets.  My oncologist has decreased the amount of chemo drugs I get to accommodate for that.  I have chemo every week, two weeks on and one week off...on my weeks off (like right now) I go to the naturopath for IV therapy full of vitamins and glutathione to decrease all the negative effects of the chemotherapy.  I have hot flashes constantly that usually keep me from sleeping most nights.  Skip my acupuncturist is a godsend though.  One visit with him usually keeps me hot flash free for at least 3 or 4 days.  I usually visit him on a weekly basis so that I can sleep.  He also helps my appetite and my liver pain.  Acupuncture is awesome!  Highly recommended for everyone if you have not tried it for your certain condition you should.  It really works, but it usually takes a few times.  The visits are usually expensive but you can find a community clinic that has sliding scale fees ($15-$30) through the Community Acupuncture Network (CAN).  Google it and you can find a clinic in your area.

All in all I am doing very well.  Everyone tells me that I look good (my eyes, complexion, etc) so at least I know it is not all in my head :)  I tell everyone that if it wasn't for the chemo I would feel better than I have in at least 15 years.  Right now I am just battling and dealing with all the side effects of the chemotherapy.  Im not complaining though, it could be much, much worse, right?

OH! Almost forgot! I had my 3rd CT scan back in September.   Drum roll please.............
Tumors have shrunk!  In some cases there are some small ones that were there before and are NOT there now!  The really big ones used to connect but now they are separate and smaller!  Don't get me wrong, the liver is still lit up like a Christmas tree at the White House but it is going away at least.  My oncologist said that "it is a slow growing disease that is also slow to go away".  He is very pleased with our progress and so am I.  I will have another CT scan in December (every 3 months) and who knows, maybe they will be gone...

There are two popular questions among my friends and family and they are
"How long do you have to get chemo" and "How often do you get chemo"
Here are the answers as far as I know...
I will most likely get chemo until either my body cannot handle it anymore or until the tumors are gone, and as far as the frequency of chemotherapy I go on Thursdays usually, two weeks on with one week off and on my week off I go see my naturopath on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  Keeps a girl busy, and tired.  I love my nurses though, they take exceptional care of me, as if I were their own daughter.  I am in good hands.

Got to run now, time for my IV full of golden goodness :) and a visit with my other mama Lynda.  You all take good care of yourself, read those labels...If you cannot pronounce it don't eat it!  Toss that icky shampoo and conditioner and makeup and invest in some good chemical free stuff.  Get rid of those chemicals under your sink and substitute with natures own natural disinfectants and cleaners.  If you don't do it for yourself at least do it for your children, family or pets as what you do also affects their health too, it might not show up now or ever, or it may show up when you are 38 and in the prime of your life.  Just do it for the sake of love.

Much love and light to you all!

The Cancer Assassin

Day 34

And all is well...

I went to Hawaii, it was AWESOME! We are gonna book more tickets and go back again this summer/fall. Beautiful! We went snorkeling, Stand Up Paddling, Jeff went surfing (I watched), hiking, swimming, ate a bunch of pineapple, papaya, coconut, and little apple bananas. No mango for me (can't stand mango). Got to meet about half of Jeff's family which was really nice and got to relax on the beach a bunch.

On last Friday I had an appointment with an oncologist at OHSU specializing in GI cancer. She was super informative, communicative, and nice. They have this conference on Tuesdays where they discuss their new patients (like me) and their cases. All different specialities are in the room (surgeons, oncologists, radiologists, etc) and they are going to be discussing me at tomorrow's session. I have been told that I could be a candidate for liver transplant as long as my lymph nodes are cancer free. One of them showed up as enlarged in the PET scan, but no one saw any cancer in there. Jeff just bought me a rebounder (little round exercise trampoline) that is supposed to be great at draining your lymph nodes. Unlike our muscles releasing toxins from our body through exercising them the lymph nodes do not have any way of getting rid of the toxins except for a "bouncy" type of exercise (running, hiking, bouncing...get the picture) like the rebounder. They say that 10 minutes on the rebounder is better than 30 minutes of running. More toxins get released and the impact on your body is better etc. I am also getting my hands of this cream called Keeping Abreast of It! and it is good for helping to drain your lymph nodes as well. I am just trying to keep them healthy so I can get me a liver soon :)

I begin chemotherapy (cancelled my other appointment as I just wasn't sure about it yet) on Wednesday. Once a week for 3 weeks, then 2 weeks off, 3 weeks on, 2 weeks off, 3 weeks on, then I'm done for a while. Ryan's girlfriend Lauren said to me "Just look at it like this. Sometimes very depressed people need a drug to help them be able to help themselves then they can dump the drug as they are on the road to healing."

WOW!

I hadn't considered it this way before. It made sense to me and I now feel much better about things. I think that the combo of western/modern medicine and natural healing can compliment each other, especially when you really don't have much time to f@ck around in the first place.

I fired my crackpot naturopath. I swear it felt like he was trying to kill me and sell the rest of my good organs on the black market. I am in the process of fining another. Not a whole lot going on this week so I might be able to get an appointment soon.

Jeff and I spent the day at Lowes and the Home Depot. We are constructing a raised garden in our back yard (picture coming soon), so we bought soil (not dirt and yes, it is organic), and some boards for the boarders, a ladder to trim our bushes and trees, two air purifiers (one little one for the bedroom and a big one for the main area). Got to have clean, healthy air. We also bought a little outdoor fire cauldron so we can sit on our patio by the fire and feel like we are camping....YES!!!!

I am psyched to find another place in PDX where I can get a yummy meal free of dairy, soy, sugar and well...ok it does have meat, shrimp, but I also found out that I can eat shrimp so YAY!!!! Coconut rice with black beans and fresh made salsa with two small little shrimp tacos with fresh cabbage, red onions, tomatoes, and cilantro. Found it at Roots Brewery, only the best brewery ever. I'm not drinking anymore but I was the designated driver (a little duty I am assuming that I will have to get used to) so I got to watch everyone else enjoy the beer. Honestly I do not even miss it anymore. I don't even miss sugar really anymore either. I find that I am liking a lot of things that I never used to like, such as ginger. I used to HATE ginger, well except for ginger snaps. Now I love it and even in the strongest amounts can barely even taste it where it used to completely overpower my little taste buds and make my throat hurt. Strange huh?

I am also going to be spending some time looking at some different retreat/healing center/institutes such as the Kushi Institute in California. I feel the need to go away for a couple of weeks and meditate, relax, get healthy, and focus on nothing but myself for a while (no cats, no dogs, no laundry, no dishes, no cleaning......nothing). I think it would do wonders for me.

Ok, enough for now. I will post more when I know what came of the meeting at OHSU. I gotta go make a shot of wheatgrass juice and a green juice. Stephanie (Bills) is in town and when she gets here (anytime now) her, Jeff, and I are going to get some tacos at Roots.

OH! I am going to be posting a "wish list" soon of some things (books, appliances, etc.) that I would love to purchase but there isn't enough money for them. If you have any of the mentioned things lying around feel free to send it my way :) List coming soon.

Thank you for all of the beautiful cards, letters, notes, DVD's, books, and research! They inspire me every day and I am constantly thinking about how many wonderful people there are in my life and how lucky I am to know every single one of you.

Much love, peace, and light to everyone!

cancer can suck it