Day 58

Called the Mayo Clinic today, talked to them on my way to my chemotherapy appointment and to see my homeboy (my onc.) Turns out that I am not a candidate for a liver transplant (living or deceased) because I have so much cancer in my liver (all over all lobes) and a giant tumor (9cm) on the right side of it, that they wont transplant me for medical reasons that anyone has yet to explain to me. Apparently they said the cancer spread all over my liver and that is why they can't give me a new liver. Now, I know i am slow because of the whole chemo brain thing but does that make any sense to you? Come one guys! Give the girl a liver here cause if ya don't the cancer will spread outside of the liver and then things will get really ugly. Give the liver to someone who needs it, like ME dammit!

Sheesh.....like the old saying goes, guess if you want anything done right you just gotta do it yourself sometimes. I've gotta find my own inner owners manual, bust out the coveralls, roll up my sleeves and and get my thigh high cancer ass kicking boosts on and get medieval on those nasty little bastards!  I fried 'em today.  Yeah, take that!

Didn't qualify for social security because The City of Redmond, where I used to work, doesn't pay in to social security.  They have some other benefit account and you pay into that instead.  When I left there to go back to school for my MaEd I took it all out (about $5000) to live on while I was in grad school.  So now, nothin' honey :)  They said that I might qualify for some other benefit though and I will know about that at the beginning of June.  It depends on the severity or stage of my cancer and since I am what they call a "Stage IV" I will get through the system quicker because the diagnosis is grimmer.

Speaking of grim statistics, if you look up the statistics for cholangiocarcinoma they really don't look very good at all.  Here is how I feel about that.  These statistics are based on 60-70year old something people who already have other health problems like high cholesterol or diabetes or heart trouble or all of them and then some.  These are not statistics based on "Laura York".  I make my own damn statistics.  What you focus on expands.  I learned that from a wise friend long ago.

That's the news for the day.  Oh, Clark and I are having a contest it seems to see who can get the most hair on the floor.  Have a nice night, I'm gonna go zone out in front of the t.v. now and wait for my honey to get home from school.

And yes,

CANCER CAN SUCK IT!