Exercise and Cancer: A great article written by David Haas

I must say I have had this article for a few months now, meaning to post it but just either forgetting to or having so much going on in my life that I didn't.  Today is the day!

A blogger friend sent this to me and it is so very true and actually a great resource for those who are struggling with cancer.  I want to also say that I know first hand that it is hard to always get exercise, especially when you are not feeling good from treatments etc.  But it is so very important.  There will always be those days when you cannot peel yourself off of the bed/sofa but that is OK.  On those days where you do feel good enough to get up try to get even a little exercise.  Go for a walk, do a little yard work or house work.  Even the smallest of things can get your body moving and feeling good or at least a little better.

And for those of you out there who haven't been diagnosed, exercise is just as important! It helps prevent cancers or at least keeps you healthy so that your body is able to fight it off. Keeping ourselves as healthy as possible (cancer or no cancer) is oh so important to our overall health.

I hope you enjoy this article as much as I did.  Kudos to you David and thank you for sharing this important piece of information with us all!  I have also posted a link to David's blog for you to enjoy.

The Power of Fitness

According to research presented by the National Association of Physical Activity and Health, an active lifestyle may prevent cancer deaths in men. Similar studies suggest the same is true for women with certain types of cancer. In fact, the American Cancer Society contends that exercise, even in small amounts, may be beneficial. As helpful as a fitness routine may be, it is not meant to be a substitute for regular cancer treatments.

Exercise may help with some of the possible side effects of some types of cancer such as lung cancer, liver cancer, breast cancer, and even a rare and usually terminal cancer such as mesothelioma. Even just walking around may prevent blood clots in the legs. Exercise may also reduce fatigue in cancer patients. Patients who exercised on a regular basis before their diagnosis should continue to do so after their diagnosis with consent from their doctor. Many doctors believe that exercise can help improve one’s life expectancy.  For example, Mesothelioma life expectancy is typically 1-2 years after initial diagnosis, but some patients live five years or more from the time they were first diagnosed. A European study found a link between reducing consumption of red meat and a reduced risk of colon cancer. The study suggests a diet rich in vegetables, fruits and whole grains to reduce the risk of prostate cancer.

Some studies suggest a link between physical exercise and a lower risk of rectal and colon cancer. Exercise has also been shown to display a reduced risk of ovarian cancer in certain studies. It's hard to confirm a definite link between fitness and cancer because so many factors are involved, but several studies have found several health benefits of staying in shape or starting an exercise routine. Additional studies have found a correlation between exercise and a reduced risk of breast cancer, prostate cancer and lung cancer.

Adopting a fitness routine may also be beneficial following cancer treatment. There is significant evidence to suggest exercise may help prevent various types of cancer, but studies show a steady fitness routine may also help recovering cancer patients’ deal with the side effects of treatment. Cancer patients who have recovered may also benefit from regular exercise. Recent studies suggest a connection between regular exercise and a reduced chance of recurrence. General benefits of exercise include improved mood, increased self-confidence, reduced fatigue, lower risk of cardiovascular disease and reduced risk of diabetes. Patients should talk to their doctor before starting a regular exercise program.

By: David Haas

Today is a good, good day!

Last night, for the first time without actually having to, I set my alarm clock for 7am.  Usually I just hit the snooze button a time (or ten) before I actually get up.  Luckily I was using an alarm clock that I was not used to and couldn't find the snooze button, so up at 7am I was.  I made my usual cup of Earl Grey and decided to wake up a little by pulling some weeds in our very neglected front yard.  That actually did the trick and what a way to wake up, smelling all those broken green weeds.  I love the smell of plants, especially tomato plants!

Anyway, today I have an appointment at the Center for Traditional Medicine and it happens to coincide with my friend Susan's appointment and I am so excited to see her!  We have kind of a "girl" day planned. After our appointments at the CTM I will be accompanying her to some more doctors appointments. That is what happens when you have cancer, always some doctors appointment, always.  As a matter of fact your doctors appointments and chemo and IV's etc are what you revolve your entire life around.  Someone says "Hey! What are you doing tomorrow/next Tuesday/next week/etc. and you can't really say if you are going to feel good enough to do anything, that is IF you don't actually have an appointment that day.  It is strange as you watch yourself deteriorating.  Your memory going south, you can no longer multi-task or even single-task because you forget that you were even doing anything at all.  You are all of the sudden that "flaky" friend that gets on everyones nerves because you either forgot (chemo brain) that you had a date with someone or you didn't anticipate feeling like crap so you have to cancel.  Even your partner/caregiver gets annoyed because you are not the same person you used to be...

At least if you had dementia you wouldn't know you were so flaky and that your brain is turning to mush and your emotions are all over the chart most likely in big part from the all of the drugs coursing through your body, but you also wouldn't be able to notice that you are slowly going crazy.  But actually knowing and seeing yourself become this person (moody/flaky/etc) is a hard thing to handle, especially if you used to be proud of how well you could handle complex situations and your organizational skills.  Gone...Now I am a moody, flaky person who somehow always is able to see some positive in even the nastiest of situations, cling to it for dear life, and make even the most trying of days in to really good ones.  You have got to, otherwise you would just fall down into a deep dark bottomless hole, and climbing out of that would be even harder.  I think I will chose to step around it.  Maybe one day this hole will be filled in, covered up, boarded up, and "KEEP OUT!" signs placed all around.  Or perhaps one day this ugly hole will fill up with flowers and those yummy smelling plants I love so much.  Yeah, that is what will happen!

As a good friend of mine says, "Today is a good, good day!"
Love you Bills!

I'm an anomaly...great! Someone told me that ALL miracles are anomalies!

Well, the appointment with my oncologist Dr Shao was a little disappointing and bubble bursting...
He is not convinced that all of the cancer in my liver is dead.  His comment was that CC is super slow growing so it is not surprising that it did not show up on the PET scan.  I am all in agreement that I would much rather be safe than sorry so I am continuing to get my normally scheduled chemotherapy treatments every other week (although I do have a 3 week break right now, woot!) and in 3 more months we are going to do another scan to see whats going on.
In the meantime, I will be speaking with all 3 oncologists to see why each one has a differing opinion...That will be interesting.

So I guess that that piece of paper from the official PET scan report that said "IN REMISSION" was just a teaser after all....It is NOT official yet....But in my mind I KNOW that I am kicking some cancer ass.  Just because they have never seen anyone react so positively before and just because NO ONE has ever cured themselves from stage IV INCURABLE, INOPERABLE cholangiocarcinoma, my job has suddenly gotten a lot harder.  Not only now do I have to kick cancer ass, but I also have to convince the medical world that it can be done.

I've got a message for them and for stupid cancer.

I AM JUST THE WOMAN FOR THE JOB!

...so some (most) believe it can't be done, that is my motivation to prove them wrong

My mom knows this well enough...

If you want me to do something, DON'T keep asking me to do it
LIKEWISE
If someone tells me 1 million and one reasons why I can't/shouldn't/it wont work/you'll never make it/etc then you are damn straight that I will make it my personal mission to prove them wrong.  This is no exception.

Like I have said before,

Cancer Can Suck It!

...and by the way, it has been quite the emotional roller coaster hasn't it?

CANCER CAN SUCK IT!

I am going to write a more lengthy post about this a little later this week but for now I just have to share my news to those of you who may not have heard yet.

After my appointment with Dr Perkins the surgical oncologist on Monday I had another PET scan on Wednesday and an appointment with a radiological oncologist named Dr Jason Bauer who was planning to administer Yttrium-90 direct radiation beads the size of a grain of sand through a catheter, about the size of a human hair, inserted into my groin and threaded through veins and such into my liver.
He came into the exam room, introduced himself and immediately began complementing me on how great and healthy I looked in spite of having extensive and aggressive stage IV cholangiocarcinoma.  He commented that he was close in age to me as well as Dr Perkins (the surgical onc).  He was basically in awe.
Then it happened. He got all serious and told me that he really wished he could help me with his miracle treatment but he just can't.  The reason he can't is because the PET scan (this makes the only one I have had since my first diagnosis last March 24, 2010, yes that's right LAST YEAR) shows that I have

 NO MORE BIOLOGICALLY ACTIVE OR LIVING CANCER IN MY BODY!!!

So what does this mean??? it means that I am officially 

IN REMISSION!!!

One and a half years ago I was given about 6 months to 1 year to live.

One and a half years ago I was given a 20% chance to live 5 years.

One and a half years ago my life changed forever.

My priorities became very clear.

Life became very simple yet unimaginably complicated all in the blink of an eye.

Even though it was Friday when I got this news I am still in shock.  It is still sinking in.

I have my regularly scheduled chemo and appointment with my oncologist tomorrow so perhaps it will seem more official then.

I am still going to get chemo for a while to make sure all those  bastards are completely fried and that there isn't one little cell that is still clinging to life to turn into full blown tumors again.

The reason they haven't found this out yet is because they haven't done a PET scan, they figured they didn't need to...the cancer most likely hasn't spread due to the nature of CC and the CT scans showed that they were always shrinking AND no one and I mean NO ONE just cures themselves of severe cholangiocarcinoma EVER and especially in 1.5 YEARS!!!

Everyone is flabergasted, floored and shocked.  They all want to know "What did you do?".

I told them, you all know what I've been doing.  Eating right (no chemicals, no processed foods, organic always, limiting or eliminating all together dairy, and animal proteins, juicing) taking supplements and vitamins, getting nutritional IV's, getting exercise as much as possible when I feel good, HAVING A POSITIVE ATTITUDE, not meaning I am always happy, meaning I always try to find something good, some positive in every situation no matter how crappy it is and how hopeless it feels and how alone and abandoned and scared you are and no matter how it seems and feels like the ENTIRE UNIVERSE is conspiring to your disadvantage, and no matter how much I sometimes HURT both physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc I just never EVER gave up, EVER!

I also have an amazing support network, very loving friends and family, kick ass, state of the art, cutting edge doctors on my side.

I made these changes in less than a month.  I didn't have the time or luxury to do it gradually.

More later, I LOVE you all and wish you all the happiness and health in the world.

Laura

The Cancer Assassin

Conversations with a surgical oncologist

Monday I had an appointment with a surgical oncologist, Dr Serene Perkins at the Good Samaritan in downtown Portland.  Actually Monday was yesterday, it doesn't feel like yesterday.  It feels like about a week ago. It was a little bit of an emotional day to say the least.  Here is what they said.

The very first thing she said is "You are the youngest patient I have ever seen with cholangiocarcinoma."  My reaction, "I haven't heard that one yet." Both of us with a giant smile on our faces.  I liked her already.  Not only was she pretty and reminded me of my girlfriend Karin from Seattle, but she was smiling and that, for me, is just an instant winner.  If you have ever had to deal with a lot of doctors you most likely have already noticed this, or maybe it is just me, who knows, but it is a pretty rare occasion when your doctor is walking around with a giant contagious smile on her face.  Especially one who's next words were something like this, "I'm going to give it to you straight (again, a woman after my own heart here) I cannot operate on your liver to remove the tumors because every lobe is affected and you wouldn't have any liver left over.  BUT, there is someone I want you to talk to who is a radiation oncologist who has this new (just out of study and now available) awesome cutting edge therapy that I think you should start immediately."  Wow!  At first I must admit that I was disappointed.   I wanted her to tell me that she could operate now and that they can remove all of the tumors and my liver will grow back in 6 weeks and everything would be awesome, that basically I would have a brand new liver!  After all, I was at the surgeon's office, where they perform surgeries talking to a surgeon.  Why would I think otherwise?  Actually, I knew otherwise because Shao had mentioned to me that she wanted to talk radiation, but DANG IT I wanted it to be different.  I knew what to expect, the meeting went pretty much exactly as I thought it would but yet I wanted it to be different.  I wanted the fairy tale story book ending, where crazy miracles happen and young ladies with liver cancer magically get healed.  I know that this is actually great news! That there are awesome doctors out there who are specialists in my type of disease who spend their spare time talking about me and my case wondering how they can help me the best.  I'm an anomaly.  People who get cholangiocarcinoma are usually much older, most often they are men, and often have other liver troubles or other diseases that have led to cholangiocarcinoma (CC, it's a long word folks:).  They are not usually 38 year old, active females who has never had anything more serious than a broken arm when I was about 7 and a little bout with salmonella when I lived at Crystal Mountain back in the early to mid 90's (let's just say that little dorm fridges don't work very well at keeping chicken frozen apparently). The doctors are all very pleased with my progress.  It would seem that I have been doing an unexpectedly exceptional job at assassinating those cancer cells.  Dr Perkins said that I have had an amazing response to the chemotherapy and that people don't usually respond as well as I have but that the effectiveness of the chemo is reaching its end and I am already on the lowest dose possible meaning that I cannot (nor do I likely want to) have a higher dose unless I want to risk other complications such as kidney failure, bone marrow damage, permanent neurosis which I have found to be quite unpleasant and painful, and a slew of other highly undesirable physical and mental troubles.  She is also very optimistic about the new treatment and suggested to me that I should begin it as soon as possible...and perhaps we will be able to talk in the future about surgery. That is what we are hoping.

The therapy....so far what I know (which isn't that much yet as I have not been scheduled to see this new doc yet) is this and it sounds scary but very effective so sign me up.  As I see it (I'm always trying to find the positive in even the crappiest of situations) this is an option that wasn't even available to me a year ago, I am making progress! Now it is proven!
The treatment is called Yttrium-90 and it sounds like a good thing to me.  The doctor that I will be meeting with is the only one in the city that does this treatment and he also just happens to be very highly recommended and respected by the surgical oncologist being a pioneer of this promising treatment.  Yes, I said promising...
I am not going to lie or pretend to be all tough or uber-optimistic right now, I am a little bit freaked out.  Catheter?! Where?!!?! Radiation actually inside my body! Crazy! Insane! Even though as crazy and insane and scary as having a catheter inserted through your pelvis into your liver so that you can feed radioactive spheres into your liver to kill cancer cells sounds the thing that scares me the most is that this actually sounds promising to me.  I am becoming hopeful that this will be the thing that delivers the last punch to those rogue cells causing havok on my body and my liver! The scary part is if I get let down...we all know how it feels to be happy and hopeful about an anticipated outcome of a situation, most of us also know how it feels to be let down in such occasions and how devastating this can sometimes be.  I mean, look at how much I got freaked out yesterday at expecting to have surgery (you know the happy ending where they cut it all out and my liver is happy and cancer free) instead of radiation and catheter that is uncertain, invasive and scary.
Actually I worry about being too excited or overly hoping for a certain desired outcome (of course never trusting or being fully present for the process what so ever) pinning everything on it and having it be ineffective, thus rendering me a blubbering, irrational, emotional slob for a few days/hours reminding Jeff how lucky he is to be with me...

Or better yet, I can focus on all of the positive! All of the awesome specialists and doctors and nurses I have looking out for me, talking about my case, trying to figure out what they can do to help.  Instead of feeling like the situation is crappy and lame because I am the "lucky" individual who happens to get a rare form of cancer at a young age....I can see it as at least I am "lucky" enough to be young with a rare disease that catches peoples attention and, much like House, provide them with a strange and interesting puzzle that they are dying to figure out.  I am "lucky" enough to have some awesome doctors on my side, my team, which happens to be comprised of specialists, natural and traditional medicine, awesome nurses and aside from all of the titles and formalities just down right good, no, AWESOME people I have working on my side, fighting for me!  This is how I would rather see it.  My choice is the positive.  I decided long ago that I was not going to waste my time and energy on worrying about all the things I may not get to/can't do.  I would rather spend that energy on doing it and making sure it will happen.

Cancer Can Suck It!

Some News!

My apologies for the lengthy delay in posting, however I have been having so much fun lately! My trip with my mom and my aunt to Cabo catapulted me into summer vacation mode.  I have spent more time lately away from internet and phone service than I have spent within service areas and more time in the Westy than in my own bed at home and that is definitely a good thing!

I have mostly been home for appointments, both chemotherapy and my nutritional IV's.  Some sweet angel (I'm not naming names but THANK YOU SUSAN!) generously put $200 on my account at the Center for Traditional Medicine and that pays for more IV's and some vitamins that I cannot get on Amazon such as Maxiflav.

9000' on Mt Hood Cooper Spur

So I went to my regularly scheduled chemotherapy appointment on Tuesday.  I had a scan just the day before (Monday) and Dr Shao rushed the results so that we would be able to read them during my appointment.  Someone went home without finishing their work that night and we only got to see the images without any official report on size etc.  The images told the story though.  The tumors are still visibly shrinking (not so much anymore though) so that is great news! I had my routine chemo and came home feeling pretty toxic from Monday's CT contrast and from the toxic chemo cocktail on Tueaday.  I am pretty sure I slept most all day yesterday finally getting up to fix some food at about 4 or 5pm.  I was wiped out! Wednesday afternoon in between slumbers I get a call from Dr Shao.  I am expecting it is him telling me the official results of the scan since we didn't get to see it the day prior.  But it wasn't, it was much better!
He has been speaking to a surgical oncologist named Dr. Serene Perkins (check her out, I've provided a link) who has become very familiar with my records and condition.  She happens to be a specialist in bile duct and liver cancer as well as a transplant specialist.......hmmmm......sounds good to me!

Cooper Spur

Awesome poppy field somewhere in northern Utah

Dr Shao explained to me that he thinks I have received most all of the benefit I can from the chemotherapy and thinks that this is the next logical step.  I have an appointment on Monday to speak with her about what she has in mind.  I will keep you all posted!  The thought of surgery scares me, really scares me.  But the thought of having the cancer gone, my liver healed, my health recovered, and a new shot at the most healthy life anyone has ever lived not taking even one second for granted!

YOU all have been my support, my scaffolding upon which I draw my strength. You all help me out when I am penniless and in need of medication so that I can feel somewhat like a "normal" person.  You give me that strength to get up the challenging rock climb and it is your voices and prayers that I hear whenever I am not certain about the future or when I am feeling like death is lurking nearby.  Thank you so much!

In Mazama :)

This is one of my favorite "feet" pictures ever! I love watching the change in the landscape on long road trips.  The geology of our country is pretty awe inspiring and I am so glad I had a chance to see it again! I will be going back for sure!

Awesome secret "locals" swimming hole in Moab.

I crammed myself into the Twirlybird and only since looking at the pictures have figured out that it most likely really worked! I shoulda put some money in it!

The delicate arch in Moab.  Beautiful!





Me and my fire...I love to build a campfire! We cooked sweet potatoes and fresh corn roasted in the husks for dinner this night. Who says road food has to be bad food? You just have to be creative!

Stoic Clark at the beach.

The BEST (and maybe only) thrift store in Moab!

Joe Wilson Arch

On the rail to Cooper Spur

The awesome Mr Stewart and me

Here are some of the pictures from my latest adventures.  Since Cabo I have been on a road trip with my mom to see my good friends the Stewarts in Newport WA, on to Montana, into Idaho, Utah, Nevada, then back home through Oregon.

Jeff and I also spent a week up in Mazama near Winthrop and Twisp, WA.  It was beautiful and we had the campground to ourselves for 3 or 4 out of 5 or 6 days we were there! It was climbing heaven! It was also so peaceful and beautiful! The little swing I found out in the middle of the woods near a trailhead.  I expected to see fairies!

Strong and Healthy!

Next was a trip to Leavenworth, WA for some more climbing.  Once again climbing heaven! One of the only people in the campground most of the time we were there (all of the other campgrounds were almost full, but no one caught on to our little secret!).

There are days that I feel like doing nothing at all, days I don't have the energy to even make food for myself or get up long enough to do just about anything.  Then there are those days that I feel great! On those days I get out and take it all in, the smells, sights and sounds.  I want to hold it close and never, ever forget it.

We've got a little catching up to do...

Mom and I at SeaTac bright and early excited for Cabo in a few hours :)

Wow! It feels like forever since I have posted.  I will try to give the condensed version then I will elaborate some on the exciting stuff, sound good? So, grab yourself a nice cup of tea or juice or a smoothie, kick your feet up, sit back, relax and enjoy the story :) I hope you like it :)

The trip up to Seattle to meet my mom was nice.  I got to stop in Tacoma and visit my friend Tiffany, we went out for a nice lil hike through the Point Defiance park, very similar to Forest Park here in PDX or Discovery Park in Seattle.  We took her dogs Carbon and Halle and had a very nice time.  Her husband got off work a little early and we were all able to hang out a bit before bed time, THEN he made us blueberry pancakes for breakfast the next morning, YUM! Thanks Jay! The next time you are here I will make some for you ;)

My whole body is in the shade from
my giant sunhat! It's awesome!

Then it was up to Seattle via wonderful Tiff & Jay to my mama's house in Ballard we made last minute errand runs to REI and Whole Foods for various items.  We wanted to bring food with us so we wouldn't have to eat out every night (it worked brilliantly!) pack good (not full of chemicals) sunscreen in the checked baggage so we wouldn't have to use the icky stuff (we were betting that any we found there would be full of chemicals and they were) and exchange some stuff at REI that wasn't working out for some stuff that worked out wonderfully, suck as my awesome white sunhat that has a tie string inside it so it is infinitely adjustable, it is 50 SPF, it is white so it stays cool and reflects the sun, and it is BIG and wide so it actually covers my shoulders too pretty well and that is great cause my shoulders get fried usually.  But I also am a strict sunscreen user and re-applier, so as much as I love the sun I also am safe about it...I figure I've got enough problems to deal with and don't need to add melanoma to the list.

At SeaTac getting ready to find our gate :)

My favorite person I met in Cabo, Fausto

Then it was SeaTac bright and early (5:30am) to catch our connecting flight in LA, and it was first class :) My uncle had so many air miles racked up from his previous job and they were going to expire so he let us use them for transportation for me, my aunt and my mom to and from Cabo San Lucas.  My aunt has a friend who owns a time share at Pueblo Bonito in the Sunset Beach Resort/Spa on the Pacific side of the peninsula, so it was very reasonable and split 3 ways equals next to nothing as far as $!!!  It was absolutely beautiful! I felt like I was on fantasy island or something, it was so pretty! Sunset Beach is really classy and I was very pleased

In the carrito with our favorite driver Fausto.

to be a guest there and hope to be able to do it again in the future. I have never been waited on hand and foot as I was at their resort.  The service was truly wonderful and the staff was so nice.  I met someone named Fausto and he was a carrito driver.  The roads in the resort were windy and steep running up and down the hillside connecting all the buildings, shops, restaurants, pools, cigar bars, lobby, spa, chapel, jewelry store, salon, deli, etc together.  He came to pick us up on the first day of our stay there.  We told him we had just arrived and had not seen around the complex yet and he gave us a wonderful little quick tour! He showed us the peacocks, the flamingoes, the sky pool up at the very top of the mountain that has a 360 degree view, all the other pools and restaurants and shops and pointed out the owners home on a nearby hilltop complete with putting green and heli-pad.  For the entire time we were there whenever he would see me he would say or call out "Hello Laura! How are you today?" ALWAYS remembering my name!  He was so friendly! Fausto, if you are reading this, thank you so much for making our stay in Cabo even more special and friendly because of you and your kindness.  Sending well wishes of health, peace, love and light to you and your family. Keep smiling and making peoples days, you are great at it!

Here are some pictures of the resort and its windy roads that are just big enough for the carrito to fit on with maybe a ped or two on the side.  And a nice picture of the sky pool....ahhhhh

Carrito

The windy roads of Sunset Beach 

The Sky Pool

I will get you started with this installment for now, it is 2am and even though I am not tired I am going outside for a quick walk around the block so that I may be able to come back and get some sleep.  Amazing what fresh air can do for you.  More soon! And if you are one of the two people still waiting on your mobile (you know who you are) it is coming very very soon...i apologize a million times for my tardiness in getting those completed and out to you.  I have not forgotten though :)

The journey begins. Day 1 of vacation from obligation :)

I am now relaxing on the train to Tacoma.  I'm on my way to visit a friend that I haven't seen in almost half a year, even though she only lives two hours away.  Crazy how busy life gets sometimes.  I can at least give her her Christmas present now :)

It feels so good to be going somewhere where I have no obligations at all.  14 days of NO doctors appointments, chemotherapy, nutritional IV's, blood draws, or any of the other daily chores and routines.  I really need a break like this.  My vacation began about two hours ago.  As the miles from my home in Portland grow larger and larger my stress begins to shed like the layers of an onion.  I wonder what I will find in the middle :)

My cat was already mad at me.  She was protesting yesterday by napping in my carryon all day preventing me from packing.  Clark (the dog) was extra concerned this morning blocking me from getting to my bag and even following me more closely than usual giving me the worried eyes.  We had a talk.

If you haven't gotten your mobile yet, my apologies for being so lazy...it will be there shortly after I return...

Again, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU so much for the generous gifts from my Amazon Wish List (my supplements).  You have no idea how much this helps! It took me about 2 hours to organize and pack my vitamins and supplements for 14 days.

I am about 48 hours from Cabo.  I cannot wait! My uncle Casey is the generous person who gave my aunt, my mom and myself his air miles to use for our flights and we even get to fly first class on the way there!  I have never even sat in first class before! What a treat! Then my aunt has a friend who let us use their timeshare so we got a great deal on our lodging as well.  Basically a pretty much free trip and nothing really can beat that :)  We are loading up suitcases with good organic food staples so we do not have to spend a ton of money on eating, PLUS we will most likely eat healthier this way too.  That doesn't mean that I am not going to be indulging in some seafood and fruit every chance I get.  I am quite interested to find out how good the local food is.

I have been in the greatest mood lately in anticipation of my vacation.  As I was busy packing up and doing chores yesterday the phone rang and it was the nurse practitioner from my "regular" doc's office calling to give me my pap smear results.  (They do it by phone and contact you to give you your results even if there is nothing to report and the results are normal. Very friendly clinic.)  Well, she got a serious tone in her voice and I KNEW she wasn't going to give me good news.  Instantly my life flashed before my eyes for the SECOND time in the last 14 months.  I instantly flew into a hot flash and my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest and my vision was narrowing and getting all fuzzy and I had all these thoughts going through my head as she told me that "my results were not normal".
Ok, FREAK OUT! No, keep you composure, its nothing, FREAK, NO, breathe! Ok she said, they tested for all the CHPV, HPV etc and everything comes back negative, even pre-cancerous cells are not present etc. *IM STILL WORRYING AT THIS POINT* Then she starts to calm me down, I ask a ton of questions, and she offers me an explanation that I accepted reluctantly but with enough evidence she pretty much convinced me that it was wonky because of the chemotherapy and pharmaceuticals I am on.  I buy that.  Sounds good.  PHEW!!  The last thing I needed was to hear "hey, you now have ovarian cancer", especially the day before my vacation.  But anyone who has ever had cancer knows that your little (or big) demon follows you around all the time making you think that every little headache is brain cancer, or every rash is melanoma, etc.. so the worry never ends.  I don't think that it ever will.