Day 43

Today was chemo day #2, I lost 3 lbs since last week so my dosage of the actual chemo drug was decreased slightly to compensate and I also found out that I am not receiving a strong dose of the drugs (cisplatin & gemzar) in the first place. I think something must be doing a good job because I feel like I can breathe in deeper than I could before. I think it is finally time to go out for a hike and spending some time in the garden this weekend. I get two weeks off of chemo, don't go back until the 20th :) WOOT! That means one week of feeling tired and puky (but getting to relax on the sofa and watch movies :) then up for some time in the woods.

I want to thank everyone who has contributed to either the US Bank or to the Chip In site posted on one of my earlier blog postings, this is going to come in really helpful for me. I don't know how many or who knows this but I have no insurance at all. I applied for but was not eligible for Oregon Health Plan, I am not eligible for Medicaid, I have a conversation on the 19th with someone from the disability office to see if I am eligible for that. My savings account is wearing thinner by the day (shopping at Whole Foods and buying organic is not cheap) all the herbs and acupuncture, naturopathy, alternative healing blah, blah, blah.....well it is just a drastic change of life. It is like you just woke up one day and found out that everything around you is toxic, you simply cannot live your life anymore the way you have been living it up to this point. You find the need to kind of clear out all the clutter and give at least half of what you own or have lying around that you thought you were so attached to to the Goodwill. Anyway, back to my point. At this point in time that money is just going to sit there collecting some interest until I need it for a very good reason (such as a liver transplant). Right now, I am trying to gather information on what the criteria is for a liver transplant of different places in the country, or even out of the country for that matter. The Mayo Clinic wants $5000 just for me to walk in their door, and I think that is pretty f___ed! I don't even know what their criteria is yet so there is not way I can afford just to go there and see. I am being as frugal as I can with what I got to work with. but I want you to know that it will definitely go to a good purpose :) but you already knew that huh??
So, chemotherapy today...It went well, didn't take as long as last time because they let it drip through faster and they also did not have to repeatedly stab me with the giant freaking straw that they thread through my vein. My mom and I watched episodes of JibJab and funny YouTube videos while Jeff worked. Came home around lunch, build a little fire in the pit and sat outside and ate lunch. Black bean veggie soup with fresh avocado and cilantro and a side of flax chips and pico made for a delish dinner. Oh yeah, topped it all off with a vegan live cheesecake (made from cashew cream and live sprouted crust) and a piece of raw live fudge. HEAVEN! I'm definitely getting better at this food thing I think.

Tomorrow morning, bright and early (7:30), I get my porta cath put in place. It is a day surgery, probably out by 2 or 3 in the afternoon. My first scar from a hospitalization ever. Virgin skin to that kind of stuff. Never had any sort of issues that required it before. That's ok, scars are cool, especially when they are by one of your tattoos :)

I kept freaking the nurses out today, well twice...and I always try to save it because I don't want to cry wolf too much. But they would adjust the IV or the tape and I would say "OW! Just kidding :) Wonder if they think that is funny, maybe I shouldn't do it anymore......bad juju? or just trying to keep it light?

Anyway, I am jacked up on the steroids they gave me for nausea and feel like I could write all night but I will leave you to your peace. It is probably a great time to read, yeah, read.

Peace, love and light to you all!

Cancer Can Suck It!