Day 113

Nice!
I hope that everyone has been having as great of a week as I have.  I have been to see my "other mamma Lynda" at my naturopath twice this week (Mon-Wed-Fri) and will go again in the morning bright and early at 8:15am.  Ever since my session on Monday I can really smell the vitamins on my breath, sweat and skin.  I smell like the GNC.  Lynda said that is great because that means my body is finally reaching saturation and that way I will be prepared for my onslaught of chemo next week.  Yesterday morning as she was starting the IV she pointed out to me that my blood was looking nice and bright red and pretty, unlike most times where it looks pretty dark and almost rusty brown red.  Guess that means my blood has lots of good nutrients in it and that is also a good thing.

I've been waking up in the best of moods lately.  I have been feeling absolutely great too.  I think that the hikes recently have helped both my physical body as well as my mental and spiritual side.  I have always been one to go quite insane if I don't get to be in the woods or mountains often enough.  Ahhhh......

In the past 3 weeks I have gained 5 lbs! YAY! This is a good thing, I was down to 121 and waaay too skinny for my own good.  Now I feel like I am at a healthy weight.  I was just reading about liver ailments last night on the web.  One symptom of liver disfunction/disease is lethargy and general constant feelings of tiredness.  That explains it!  Sometimes I feel like I get kind of hard on myself for not doing enough or being productive enough.  Jeff is constantly telling me "you need to relax and rest".  I do agree but I also like to walk and hike and get exercise.   When it comes to thinking about anything at all, even the slightest things, I become waaaaay overwhelmed.  I literally can only do one thing at a time.  Gone (for now) are the days of multitasking.  Oh, I was such a great multitasker too!  I could have multiple projects going on at once and somehow synchronize them all into perfect dance of chores that all got done in a matter of hours rather than days.  Now it takes me a week just to finish a couple loads of laundry or change the sheets on the bed.  UGH!

What does it all mean.  Here is my theory.  S.L.O.W. D.O.W.N.  I don't have to operate at the pace of a madwoman.  I don't even have to get all the chores done today, or even tomorrow, right?  Why do I hold myself to such high standards when it has obviously not been healthy for me to operate at that capacity for extended periods of time.  I think it is important to be able to recognize our own personal levels of stress.  We may not recognize our daily grind as being "stressful" because that is just what we have to do, our errands and chores, and our meetings or our obligations that fill every little day box on our calendars.  Even the stuff that is supposed to be relaxing and therapeutic often becomes just one more thing that we have to do when we might want to do nothing at all except sit and stare at the wall or sit in the woods and watch the trees sway in the wind (one of my personal favorite things to do).  How many things in your life cause you stress?  Can you find a way to lessen this or get rid of some of them altogether?  If you feel the need to "be productive" perhaps one of these more stressful activities or obligations could be replaced with some YOU time to indulge in what ever your favorite healthy activity is.  I firmly believe that I would not be in the position of The Cancer Assassin right now if I had done a little more to relieve stress in my life.  Or if I had even paid enough attention to the fact that some things that I thought were necessary stressors weren't actually necessary at all.  Stress is one of the largest factors leading to disease in our bodies.  It literally eats away at our insides.

Now don't stress on it, just relax, breathe and find a new, less stressful path.  Your body, mind and spirit will thank you.

I am off for a super fun stress free weekend in Manzanita.  It is my moms birthday this Saturday and we have booked a room at the coast for the weekend.  I love Manzanita, it is so quiet for a coast town, not very many tourists and the Bread and Ocean restaurant is a wonderful healthy spot to refuel.  Jeff is coming along and bringing his surfboard so while my mom and I are busy getting our chill-laxin on, he can go hang ten.  My mom comes into town tonight, YAY can't wait to see her!

I love how this past week has been filled with me getting to hang out with both my mom and dad.  I love my parents so much, they are the coolest people on the planet and they care so much about me.  I am so lucky to have such wonderful people bring me into this world and instill their values, curiosities, and love in me.  My parents rock!  Here's to you mom and dad, the best parents anyone could ask for!