More of my favorite products...and other news!

Welcome back!

I want to toss in a quick update on the progress of the assassination :)
My oncologist was very pleased with my blood analysis at yesterdays appointment.  I am still low on red and white blood cells and my platelets are still below 100 but the liver functions are all registering as normal still so that is great news! I have been thinking more about the long term affects of chemotherapy since it looks as if I will not be looking to end my chemotherapy treatments any time in the near future.  Doc says that "...I hope we can keep doing this for a long time"...meaning that the protocol I am on is the best one for my situation and chemo is going to be a part of my life for a while and I need to get used to that.  Luckily I have been able to go back to the naturopath for some more nutritional IV's.  The month or so that I was unable to get them due to financial stress really made me realize just how important these IV's with GLUTATHIONE are to my overall health and quality of life as well as protecting my body from the punishing long term effects of the chemotherapy treatments.  Cisplatin is particularly known for screwing up your kidneys (it just destroys them) and I am worried that in 5 years I will have to be on dialysis or something...and I definitely DON'T want that!  Plus the IV's give me more energy and just make me feel better all the way around and allow me to peel myself off the couch on the weekends to go PLAY outside! And that is a very good thing in my book :)  Now on to more fun stuff :)


I have decided to spend some more time in the bathroom showcasing more products in there just because it is the place where we start our day, where we use the most concoctions of lotions, gels, sprays, pastes, pomade, cream, powder, soap...you get the idea...and not surprisingly it is also where we get some of the most exposure to chemicals in our products and even in our water! Not only are we drinking nasties but we are bathing in nasties too.  You can find out all kinds of information about drinking unfiltered tap water here and bathing in this water here.  This is such a big conversation that we will save this one for another day.  Today I want to talk more about household products, so here we go :) I hope you enjoy it as much as I love sharing it!

And as long as I am talking about water I will just start here at my water cooler.  For my birthday last year my Mr. Wonderful (that's Jeff) bought me this water dispenser...I had actually been begging for one for a few months prior and he finally broke down.  We were previously using the Pur water filter system (the pitcher system) and although the water tasted good and we weren't using bottled water and contributing to the landfill and giant trash gyre problems stemming from all that, we WERE STILL tossing on average 2 filters per month into the garbage.  That adds up and I personally did not feel good about it. So we purchased three 5-gallon water jugs and when two get empty we go fill 'em up at our local New Seasons grocery which happens to be 5 blocks from our home.  We spend about $4 every two weeks on water and it is super tasty to boot and we don't have any waste which makes me even happier.  Now if we could lift GLASS jugs instead of plastic it would be even better but it is a step in the right direction.  I know that most people, including me, cannot afford to purchase a $5,000 water filtration system for our homes so this at least solves the drinking water issue.

 This here tape is pH testing tape, very similar to what you use to test the pool or hot tub or in chemistry class but you hold it in your urine stream and test the pH of your body instead.  I like to do this in the mornings to see how acidic my body is and then I check again later in the day to see if it has changed.  It usually does and it is also usually a huge difference when I drink my green juice.  Your body will constantly strive to be at its optimum pH and will regulate accordingly but what happens is we tend to incorporate a LOT of acidic foods into our diet meaning our body is not as alkaline as we would like it to be (in order to do things like kill cancer cells).  Eating right is essential to maintaining a healthy pH level and your overall health.  Here is a great link with some basic information to get you started if you are interested in learning more about pH and your health.  And another one too, with even more detail.

 My beautiful mama gave me a Clarsonic Mia and I take it into the shower with me every day.  It is like the toothbrush and vibrates super fast and cleans your face like nobody's business.  LOVE IT!  I have been using Desert Essence Organic facewash for sensitive skin and it seems to be doing very well for me.  It hurts if I get it into my eyes though, I am assuming it is the tea tree that is irritating.  Eyes are not a good place for tea tree.

For shaving purposes I LOVE this product! I have even gotten Mr. Wonderful hooked on it.  It is a cream instead of a foam so it provides a nice moisturizing barrier between your skin and your razor.  I have always had issues with razor burn and this is the best shaving cream I have ever found.  It gets a pretty crappy rating on the cosmetics safety data base at a "6" out of 10 so I am going to be looking for a new love.  It will most likely turn out to be plain ol' soap from the Oregon Soap Company.  I absolutely LOVE their bar soap in Soapman's spice or patchouli, but they have all kinds of lovely scents that are ALL NATURAL and very moisturizing.

Once again, it is Desert Essence for me right now as far as shampoo/conditioner go.  I like to have two varieties in the shower just to keep it fresh :) I love the fresh scent of the green apple and ginger but my hair really loves the coconut one...and it reminds me of warm sunshine.

Simply Divine Botanicals is a company I discovered last year and I absolutely LOVE every product I have tried of theirs.  I ordered a couple of things and they sent me a TON of samples along with my order and I just loved every one of them.  They  are made with ingredients that you could literally eat and some of them are even infused with Reiki.  I use the lymph drainage cream called "Keeping Abreast Of It" as well and highly recommend it to anyone battling cancer to help drain their lymph system.
THIS eye cream is the bomb! It is called "Pack Your Bags They're Leaving" instant gratification eye gel and it is exactly what it says it is.  Put a dab on and in a minute or two, gone! Bye, bye bags.  This 1oz jar has lasted for about 9 months (I should probably toss it) but it is still as wonderful as it was when I got it.  I will be purchasing more, this has become a staple in my cosmetics bag.

 Here is my "girly" shelf in the bathroom.  I use the coconut oil (find it in the cooking section of your local grocery and look for 100% organic and raw). It usually costs around $8-$12 and lasts for a long, long time.  Sometimes I like to spruce it up with a few drops of essential oil like lavender or vanilla or frankincense or patchouli or what ever you like.  It is very moisturizing and you smell oh so good! If you don't like that you can use some grapeseed or jojoba or almond or another organic oil as well, you can find the perfect oil for your skin out there, there are many to choose from.  Nearly all lotions we put on our skin are quite literally filled with toxins and those soak into our skin and into our blood.  It is worth the time to look at your ingredients on this one and decide if you want to rub toxins all over your body or use natural oils that are even better anyway in every aspect.

As far as "make-up" I use Bare Minerals and have for years now.  My mama turned me on to it and it is another one of those staples in my bag.  I use their mascara, blush, foundation (with sunscreen), lip gloss, brushes, eye shadow, eye liner, etc.  They have it all.  And they rate low on the cosmetics safety data base which is wonderful.  They are made of crushed up minerals, sometimes pearls or even diamonds too, giving your skin a nice glow.  It covers blemishes or uneven skin tones very well and doesn't look like you have on make up at all and best of all it allows your skin to breathe.  I most highly recommend checking them out if you have not caught on to the mineral makeup thing yet.  Once again it is important to keep those nasty toxins off our face and away from our eyes and lips.  So ditch the drugstore cosmetics.  I can guarantee you that 99% of those (if not 100%) are BAD BAD BAD.  The mineral makeup might cost a little more but it will last you for a long long time because it is just minerals.  I have had most of my eyeshadow colors for years and I have never ever used an entire one or come close to it yet.  The foundation and bisque are the two that I use the most of and even then they last approximately 8-12 months for the average sized container.  You can usually also find a killer deal on their stuff at QVC and you can often also get "kits" that include foundation, mineral veil, bisque, and other essentials for a very reasonable price.

This Josie Maran Argan Oil is yet another one of those wonderful things that my beautiful mama turned me onto.  I use it in my hair, on my face, and if it were not so expensive I would put it all over my body.  This is another one of those "a little goes a long way" products.  100% pure organic oil from a tree.  WONDERFUL stuff!

I like this derma e scar gel.  I use it on the giant scar from the insertion of my power port.  I put it on daily to try to reduce the appearance of the scar and it is very nicely beginning to blend in with the rest of my skin.  For the longest time it was very obvious and purple.  Mine took a little extra time to heal, most likely from the chemo I'm sure.  I bruise so easily these days.  My knees are covered in bruises and I have no idea why.  I look like a really bad rollerskater that doesn't wear kneepads! I have never tried any other scar gel so I have nothing to compare it to, but I felt it was worth the mention.

Deodorant.  I rarely ever use it.  I find that I smell worse and sweat more if I use it so I never do unless I am going to be in close proximity with others in a professional setting or something or sometimes I just get a wild hair and rub some on...which I usually regret later.  But I know that I am not like most others out there, so this is for you deodorant devotees.  I really like this one as far as deodorants go.  I have tried them all over the years too.  First of all you should always get a deodorant and not an antiperspirant.  Antiperspirants have chemicals in them that actually prevent you from perspiring...NOT GOOD....your body perspires to cleanse itself as well as to cool itself.  If you are preventing this from happening you are creating a buildup of toxins in your body not to mention also putting chemicals on your body in close proximity to your lymph nodes and breasts (both men and women).  This is why it is important to check those ingredients once again and use the cosmetics safety database to look them up if you don't know what they are.  We can no longer ignore or remain ignorant of what we purchase and use on our body.  Ignorance can hurt us and future generations (our offspring...ADD, ADHD, allergies, sensitivities etc.)

This aloe plant is my favorite moisturizer in the world! It even clears up the eczema/rash on my face courtesy of a year of chemotherapy...somewhere around 40 treatments now....
I just break off a piece and smoosh it around a little and squeeze it out like I'm squeezing a tube and just rub it into my face.  It feels really great plus like I said, it gets rid of my rash so I could only imagine how well it would work for other skin issues.  When I travel I break off a couple of pieces and put them in a baggie, it travels very well and works great for sunburns too!  Again, a staple in my bag.

FRESH AIR    Aaaahhhh...

Our home is old and is made with plaster walls and we do not have any insulation so it is quite moist and drafty in the winter time and whenever it is excessively wet...and after all, I live in the PNW and it is often excessively wet.  Mr. Wonderful purchased this dehumidifier for us last year.  It has made the air in our home so much cleaner and dryer.  It is also energy star certified and we have not noticed much of a difference in our power bill from it.  We set it at 40% humidity and cycle it on for 2 hours/off for 2 hours.  It has a 3 gallon capacity tank and we empty it every other day.  I would use the water for our plants but I fear it has mold spores in it and I don't want to promote the growth of mold anywhere other than on places like cheese or where it belongs, basically anywhere but my home and around my windows and lungs. Especially when my immunity is compromised from chemotherapy.

 This is our air filter.  It oscillates and has three settings for fan speed.  It also has washable filters instead of disposable ones that end up in a landfill at best.  I have noticed a considerable difference in the quality of our air since we have been using this filter.  With a dog and a cat and hardwood floors there are always dust buffalos roaming our nooks and crannies and hanging out in herds in the corners.  The air feels so much cleaner and less dusty and irritating.  My throat feels nicer and I am not as congested and phlegmy.  It definitely helps keep the allergens down.  This one also constantly runs in our home, even in the winter time.  In the summer it also doubles as a fan and it's slim design makes it easy to tuck into a place where it will not dominate your space.  It wasn't very expensive and I have nothing but great things to say about it.  Highly recommended if the budget ever allows for it and worth saving for if it doesn't.  You will thank yourself for this one.

Lastly I could not finish this blog without talking about castile soap.  I have been using Dr. Bronner's for years.  You can use it for so many things from toothpaste to shampoo to laundry to aphid spray, to floor cleaner, to...get the picture.  This is a wonderful substitute for any household cleaning product that you are having trouble finding a natural replacement for.  Just be sure to use only a little bit because it is highly concentrated and if you dump a bunch into the washing machine you might have a little issue on your hands :)  I have even used this to wash my car and it works wonderfully on road grime and tar and bugs and doesn't kill the environment or the fish.  The bottle is a ton of fun to read when you are, well, you know "sitting around" and it comes in a variety of natural fragrances.  My personal favorite is the peppermint.  Very tingly!





Lastly, I want to give a shout out to my very best friend in the whole wide world my kitty!

Today is her birthday!  Happy birthday to my companion who gives to me unconditional love and always knows when something is wrong and is always there to comfort me.  May you have a long long life ahead of you yet.
Her name is Sienna.  We (my mom and I) called her that because of her coloring and she seemed to like it.  She rarely gets called that though.  Pot Pie is what we call her now and it really has stuck.  It came from me calling her Poppy (again the color thing) and someone one day said "did you say Pot Pie?" and then THAT stuck so that is her new handle now.  She likes it and it is fun to say.
She turned 15 today.  She was diagnosed with diabetes in the fall of 2005 and she gets insulin shots twice a day, making traveling interesting sometimes because someone always has to shoot the cat.  We have bonded a LOT in the past years due to her illness and now due to mine.  She is always laying beside me when I don't feel good and is always there to make me smile when I am feeling down.  Petting her is therapy.  Scrubbing that little chin and stuffing my face into her belly to feel her silky soft fur are two of my favorite things to do :)  She wakes me up in the mornings by nudging her head into mine wanting food and little kisses on the top of her head.  She loves her kitty lovin' in the morning.  She particularly loves to have her little head rubbed, I call it "kitty small head".  She has this little bunny pal that is a stuffed black and white bunny that an ex of mine from many many years ago gave me for valentines day or easter or something.  She used to HATE that bunny! She would hiss at it and attack it, but she secretly loved it too.  I went away for a month once to visit my father in TN and my mom sat the cat.  Sie (short for Sienne) picked up the bunny and carried it around our apartment and meowed at it and with it in her mouth too! It became her pal in my absence!  It has since come along with us on every move and has never left Pot Pies side.  Even Clark our yellow lab knows better than to chew it up and he has an obsession for all things fuzzy and stuffed.  We call it the Death Bunny.

Here is to you my little furry companion! I love you! May you have many more health filled years ahead of you! I hope that eventually you will like Clark a little more :)

Humble Pie and Help

I really feel that need to share something with you all.

As you all must know by now the old bank account has been wearing very thin lately.  I've spent over 30K at the naturopath alone in the last year.  Crazy huh! I had a glimmer of hope that my state insurance would cover the supplements and IV's but alas, I had a feeling it was too good to be true.  Things have worked out since then though and for the moment it is no longer an issue....why you ask, well let me tell you what you need to know.

It took a lot of humble pie to do it but I did the absolutely unthinkable...
I asked for help.

There you go, plain and simple.  It was different.  I like to be the one helping others, not the other way around.  If I have it, I share it.  That is what I like to do, but you guys and gals, WOW!

I was sitting around late one night this week not being able to sleep from a treatment, looking on Amazon to order my supplements and realized "wait, I'd better check my account first to make sure there is enough money to cover this"  then I got all depressed, not wanting to even look at my dwindling account for fear that it would say "0" or worse yet, "overdraft"  lame.....so I decided to put my order on the "wish list" so in my late night stupor I would not accidentally click the "purchase" button.  I then decided to try to get some sleep (on the couch, my usual spot lately) and sleep I did.  I woke up and looked at the Amazon wish list again reluctantly but knowing that I needed to order my vitamins regardless of if it drained my account or not.  It was then that I saw the little "share this on fb" icon and so I clicked it.  The rest is history, I seriously could not post the supplements on my list fast enough, you all were so eager to help! I cannot even begin to tell you all how incredibly moving this was to me! You all are so incredibly selfless and awesome! Talk about help! Thanks to all of you who so generously purchased my supplements for me this month!  It was such a complete lifesaver! It came at the perfect time as well.  Lately I have been feeling pretty down in the dumps.  I have been really feeling the effects of having stage IV inoperable, incurable, your screwed cancer on just about every aspect of my life lately including everyone and everything around me.  I stepped on my cat the other day, TWICE in the same few seconds.  Really crushed her too, God I wanted to puke! I felt so bad, she was so hurt and mad at me and growled at me and hissed then went and hid in a dark corner of the basement.  Horrible! She even limped a little the next day! All because of my mushy chemo brain, ears, eyes I didn't even see her, nor was I looking because I was so focused on filling up pill box for the week instead.  Like another one of my blogger friends said "cancer affects everything/everyone around you...the plants animals and people"  too true.  I can't even begin to express how many things have been pushed to the side (and often forgotten completely about) because of cancer.  But that is not THIS story, save that for another time when I feel like complaining :)

THIS story is about asking for help.  Swallowing our pride, our reservations, our "but I don't deserve it's".  YOU do deserve it!   Asking for help is one of the hardest things for us to do, we have to swallow that giant lump, take a chance, feel a little uncomfortable for a nano-second then allow it to happen.  Put it out there to the universe and see what comes back to you, but just make sure you are ready and willing to accept it, then accept it graciously and with love and thanks.  You do deserve it!

Once again, you have all "made my day/week/month!" You constantly continue to teach me that I deserve it too.  Thank you, thank you, thank you! You continually inspire me, keep me strong, and give me the strength to kick some cancer ass!

My favorite products: In the bath

I thought I would share some of my favorite products with you along with my morning bathing routine.  the products I use are by no means the "be-all-end-all" of personal products, just the ones that are best for my skin and are least toxic to my body and health because lets face it, I don't need any more toxins in my body.  So here goes...

This is my favorite toothbrush.  It has taken me a while to find one but after a long time of looking but I have found it.  It is the Preserve toothbrush made from recycled yogurt cups, you send in the toothbrush when you are done with it in the envelope provided by them and they recycle it by replacing the brushes and viola! It's special curved design really gets my back teeth well and is super duper comfortable (even though it looks like it might not be).  

My fav toothpaste

Jason Powersmile is my favorite toothpaste.  I have been using it for many years and every time I go to the dentist he cannot believe how little plaque and tartar I have and how clean and healthy my teeth and gums are.  It is rated a 2 on the Cosmetics Safety Data Base scale (0-10, 0 being least toxic and 10 most).  For a reference point, Crest's least toxic toothpaste is a 4 with the highest being a 7, so if you are brushing with Crest, most likely you are brushing with toxins.

Earth Therapeutics Skin Brush
Tampico Vegetable Fiber

Before I get in the shower I use my dry brush.  If you have never heard of it or if you have but have never tried it you simply MUST!  Here is a great blog with everything you ever wanted to know about dry brushing and all the benefits of it.  This is a picture of my dry skin brush.  I purchased it for $8 at my local Fred Meyer, so in other words, they are easy to find.  It is really quick and easy to do.  It only takes a couple of minutes to do and it is soooo worth it! Your skin feels so soft and smooth and you will notice the difference in the first couple of times.  Forget all those lotions with toxins and fancy synthetic exfoliators etc. this works way better and clears your body of toxins as well.  Your skin is the largest organ on your body and what ever you put on it gets directly absorbed into your blood.  Dry skin brushing clears all that dead skin off allowing your body to release toxins.  It also invigorates you and leaves you feeling like a newborn.  Why would you not want to do it?

I love Oregon Soap Company Soap

My essential oil collection

Coconut oil (used also for cooking)
and some of my favorite e.o.'s

Next I either shower or take a nice hot detox bath.  Lets start with the shower.  I use the Oregon Soap Company's bar soap in Soapman's Spice in the shower.  While I am in the shower I use my Clairsonic Mia on my face with Desert Essence Gentle Nourishing Organic Cleanser.  When I get out and dry off I use either Grapeseed oil, or coconut oil  with a little essential oil depending on my mood.  If I am having terrible hot flashes I like to use an essential oil blend called "Cool Hottie" from Aura Cacia.  Sometimes (especially after chemotherapy) I like to take a nice hot detoxifying bath.  For this I use a product called Beyond Clean.  It helps your body get rid of toxins and keeps you from absorbing toxins in your water.  I also like the Desert Essence shampoo and conditioner too.  I really love the coconut one, smells great too :)

Ok, I have held onto this for almost a week now thinking that I wanted it to be "perfect" before I published it, but I have let that go....thankfully :)

So here is the first installment of "My favorite products"  I hope you enjoy.

DAY 365! HAPPY CANCERVERSARY TO ME!

Me loving life!

YAY!

One year ago I was in a world of hurt.  It is now 8:18am as I type and at this moment one year ago I was hearing the words "YOU HAVE CANCER".

My world completely stopped.  I looked at my doc who had a horrified look on her face.  She was the exact same age as me and had never had to deliver that information to anyone in her career yet. She almost could not even look at me she felt so bad, so then I looked to Jeff.  He was staring straight ahead, afraid to make eye contact with me as well.  It couldn't have been more than a few seconds but it felt like an eternity to me.  Breaking the silence and shock I said "OK, tell me EVERYTHING I need to know." I wanted to get started on fixing things right away.

Snow camping at White Pass

This did not mean I was not worried and scared and honestly I was angry and ashamed too.  "Why me?", "This is not fair!", "But I exercise and eat well..." (or so I thought)...I also felt ashamed...like my body betrayed me, like I had something ugly inside of me and I somehow deserved this certain death sentence that had been handed to me.


NOT ANY MORE! HELL NO!

It is exactly one year since my diagnosis.  I have changed my life in so many ways.  One year ago my priorities became crystal clear to me.  How many people can say that?  I KNOW now what is important in this life.  So, in a twisted and weird way, cancer was a blessing.

Since then I have been through 31 rounds of chemotherapy and at least 80-90 nutritional IV's, there is still no end in sight yet.  I am getting my 5th CT scan in the middle of April, my oncologist says that he doesn't plan to have any surprises (slow growing tumors are slow to shrink) but I can't help but worry a little none the less.

more beauty

So, I dedicate this day to ME!
I AM ALIVE!

I can smell the flowers and nuzzle my nose into my kitties soft furry little tummy, I can hear the birds singing outside and the wind making music with everything it touches.  I can see the stars and moon as they give me strength to make it through tough times and shine on me as if I were the only person in the whole world.  I have a GENEROUS, loving and incredibly selfless support system, YOU and you have helped me in so many ways that will never ever be forgotten or taken for granted.  I have an amazing family who constantly give me strength even though they might not know it.  I have the most wonderful parents in the world who both were so incredibly strong when I told them of my diagnosis. "Whatever, cancer-schmancer I know you are gonna kick its ass." is what they basically said, but I knew that deep inside they were terrified for me.  I have the most amazing, wonderful, caring boyfriend in the entire world and I am thankful for him and his love every single day of my life.  I still have enough energy to get out every chance possible and ski, climb, hike and enjoy my life to its fullest and to the best of my ability.  I have TODAY, I have THIS MOMENT.  I am content.

summit of silver peak with friends '09

Go enjoy your life! Tell those you love just how much you appreciate them and love them! Take time to enjoy the little things and above all be good to yourself and love yourself.  You can't make anyone else happy until you are happy and you cannot truly love others until you learn to love yourself first.  How you treat the world is reflected in how you treat yourself.   Try to see the positive (even if it is only a tiny bit) in everything you do and everyone you meet.

Be kind. Leave nothing but love in your wake.

After today I am no longer titling my blog posts with how many days it has been since I have been diagnosed and survived this cancer.  It is time to move on :)





Cancer Can Suck It!

Day 359! WOOT!

I didn't forget about you all ;)

I just wanted to let you know that I am working on a new blog post.  I am currently going through every room of my house documenting the products I use in each room, so that I may be able to:

1. learn something new about my chosen products (are they "really" healthy etc)
2. share this knowledge with you so that you can have an easier time choosing healthy products that have been tried and tested without having to go through all the research etc.

So please be patient, there are many exciting changes coming and I am just trying to keep up with them all.

Everyone take precious care and I will be back soon.

Peace, Love, Light, Joy, and HEALTH

Day 350! Hope on the Slopes at Crystal Mountain THIS WEEKEND!

YES!

It is almost here! Crystal Mountain's 3rd annual Hope on the Slopes event raising money for The American Cancer Society helping more people have more birthdays and cancerversaries! Raising money for reserach and a CURE!

I don't know if I have ever mentioned that I used to live at Crystal Mountain.  From 1990-1996 and for another brief period of time when I graduated from undergrad in 2000-2001.
Here is how it all started.

I graduated from high school in Lacey WA in 1990.  I had attended Timberline High until my senior year upon which time I attended the brand new NIGHT high school called New Century.  Loved it! After graduation I attended The Evergreen State College for one quarter (loved school but just couldn't afford it and honestly, just wasn't ready either) and met some friends (Eddie and Andrew....big shout out to you two if you are reading this!) that had worked on Crystal the previous winter and from what they told me I KNEW I had to be there.  I had learned to snowboard a couple of years prior and jumped at the chance to work at a resort!  Waiting tables at the Crystal Inn was my very first job at the mountain and my very first time EVER waiting tables.  I can still remember how sorry for me everyone felt on my first night at the Crystal Inn.  (A side note: the Crystal Inn is no longer there, it was torn down years ago along with the pool.) I honestly told everyone of my tables that I was a "virgin" to the server profession and to please have patience.  I walked out with over $100 on my first night of sympathy tips :) I got to snowboard every day if I wanted and the rent was cheap. It was great!

Then I worked at Rafters (now the Bullwheel) for a season.  The biggest thing I can remember from that is that I had the most horrible nightmares about not being able to go to sleep until my tables left, but they all just sat there eating fries and drinking cocoa never ordering more but just taking up a table and keeping me at work (and usually leaving a 50 cent tip cause fries and cocoa were not much of a spendy bill).  Not really....well the nightmares were real but so were the friendships.  I can remember such great times up there with my mountain family.  Next I got a gig at the Silver Skis running the front desk.  That was my favorite! I became like a daughter to the Hartfords.  Phyllis and I would have so much fun together! She taught me so much about life, running a business, public relations, and oh so much more! Phyllis, I love you!  I hope I get to see you this weekend!

I loved being on the mountain! It really felt like home to me more than anywhere I have ever lived and I still to this day consider it home.  Which is why what I am about to tell you next is so very important and special to me.

Anyone who has been on facebook lately (who is my friend and if you are not come and find me :) knows that THIS  weekend is the American Cancer Society Hope on the Slopes event at Crystal Mountain ( it is also at Mt Hood, AND it is also my dad's  b-day).  So far everyone participating has raised nearly $50,000! Isn't that great!?  It all goes to the American Cancer Society helping more people have more birthdays.  Hearing the words "YOU HAVE CANCER" is something that will change your life forever, guaranteed.  I never thought I would ever hear those words...I'm healthy, I'm young, I'm active, blah, blah, blah.....As I type I am sitting in the Chemo Suite at the Northwest Cancer Specialists and it is a busy day.  Business is good, booming in fact.  No bueno! Lets put these people out of business folks! Wont you join me at Crystal for some exercise and fun on Saturday March 12 from 9-4.  If you can't ski or board there is still tons of fun to be had! There is a scavenger hunt, a snowshoe tour of the mountain, a BBQ and so much more! If you can't make it then you can still participate by making a donation HERE.  Any little bit helps in a HUGE way.

This is my really personally important part.
I will be speaking at the event as the guest speaker/survivor of honor and I can't say how much I am honored to get to do this.  Really.  So here is even another reason to come :) I love to talk:) If my chemo brain allows me I will hopefully be putting on quite a show, I have so much to share! I wonder how long they will let me talk :) I hope that people will be listening.  I don't know if I have ever spoken to a crowd of people larger than about 60 or so.  I am not nervous at all, actually I am super excited! Speach? Nah...I am gonna wing it :) and say exactly what needs to be said :)

I am also attending an open house cocktail reception for The Center of Traditional Medicine tomorrow night.  This place is so amazing! Highly recommend it for healing as well as for an event.  It is so beautiful right on the Willamette, a green building (remodeled old Foundry really interesting) and a social gathering place.  A lot of wonderful people will be there and I want to unveil my desire for a juice bar/wellness hub that either travels around or is stationary on Alberta.  I want to provide education and support in various ways for cancer survivors (because we are all survivors) and for everyone and anyone who wants to be a wellness warrior. Of course this juice bar will be working in conjunction with local organic farms to supply the veggies and fruit for the juice and smoothies, local roasters for coffee and tea (you get the picture)...so now all I need to do is start making the connections.  Something is telling me that the ball is sitting on top of the hill at the moment and at any second this weekend it is going to get a little push or maybe a big shove and I am standing on top of it and I will be in for a big ride and in a whirl of 4-8months hours becoming days, days becoming nights, days and nights becoming weeks, becoming months, seasons pass, all of the sudden its hot, I'm selling crafts made from my IV's and found items, making connections and taking to people about the good stuff (health and food and products) then BAM! There it will be "The Grassy Green" a gathering place for wellness.  Who knows! Maybe I could even have a yoga studio or some rebounders at the very least.  Way cool!

One last thing.
I had chemo today and I will be going in for my next scan in the first week of April (fingers crossed)!
My platelets were back up over 100 again which was very good, but my hemoglobin was under 10 and that means I am very anemic so they gave me a shot of something that helps fix it called Aranesp or something like that.  It works and it also makes me feel energetic so that's good I suppose.

Ok, I have to try to get some sleep tonight.  I just wanted to share with you all.  I hope to see those of you who can make it up at the mountain on Saturday.  Plus I just found all my old photos from the day and I want to try to scan some into my mac tonight :)  so if you are a friend on facebook then you can check them all out.

You all take great care and have a wonderful weekend.  I need some rest.
All the love, joy, hope, peace, love, and light to every single one of you out there!
YOU are the best support team anyone could ever ask for and I couldn't be doing any of this without you!  You are loved and appreciated!

I couldn't fit all of the information on the ChipIn this time but it should say that it is for my naturopath expenses for the month of March.

Day 346 Exciting things! And some not so exciting :(

THAT'S EXCITING!
Only 19 days until my 1 year Cancerversary (March 24).

VERY EXCITING!

Kris Carr & I at her book signing

 I got to meet my mentor Kris Carr at her book signing for her new book Crazy Sexy Diet, Eat your veggies, ignite your spark and live like you mean it! You can pick up your copy at one of the last independent bookstores that is local here in PDX at Powells Books or at Amazon. It is such a great book and everyone would benefit from reading it, not kidding ( I wouldn't do that to you).
From just the few moments we had available to chat I could tell that Kris was completely down to earth and approachable as well as sincere and kind.  It was so rejuvenating and re-inspriring to meet the person who, nearly a year ago, filled me with such hope and determination to kick some cancer ass.  The Cancer Assassin was born out of the teachings and wisdom found in the pages of Kris Carr which is also the same wisdom available to anyone who cares to seek it.  I would highly recommend that you do, for your own health and to stay cancer free or to manage cancer if you already have it and help eliminate it from your body.  You can also find the link to her awesome blog and an Online Community of Wellness Warriors there too.  They are all awesome resources and I use them nearly every day.

SUPER AWESOME I CAN'T WAIT EXCITING!

Cabo, I'm coming soon!

My mom and aunt and I are going on a 7 day vacation in Cabo San Lucas! WooooooHoooo! My uncle was generous enough to give us his air miles so we get to go for free! Thank you Uncle Casey and Aunt Annette! YOU ROCK!
I have only been out of the country one other time (I'm not counting all the times I've been to Canada) and that was back in 2005 or so and a friend of mine and I went to Nicaragua for 10 days.  It was so much fun! and so cheap too! I remember how friendly all the natives were, how warm it was and how pretty it was.  Yep, I can't wait for May.

YEEEEEHAWWWWW! EXCITING!

My dad's house at the top of the hill

My father has put his home in Tennessee on the market! 86 beautiful acres secluded in the middle of the woods in central Tennessee about 6 miles from Kentucky.  Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful!  He has already had a couple come to look at it 3 times! But what is even cooler is that the people who are looking at it have been into herbs and curing cancer with herbs for over 30 years! Now tell me that this is not meant to be.  Dad, I will see you in a few months when I'm accompanying you on the trip back to the Northwest :) Here is the listing. Check it out, better yet, BUY IT :)

Jeff and I after an awesome day on the slopes!

SUPER PSYCHED COMING UP SOON EXCITING!
Hope on the Slopes at Crystal Mountain is
happening on March 12, 2011 all day long.  It is a ski benefit and all proceeds go to the American Cancer Society to help find a cure for cancer.  As everyone knows Cancer Can Suck It! in my opinion.  Those of us out there, like myself and so many others,  who are living with cancer AND those who have yet to hear the words "You Have Cancer" depend so heavily upon the donations and support of their friends, family and complete strangers both financially, emotionally and often physically.  Being a full time healing junkie is an extremely hard thing to do and every little bit helps and goes such a long way. You can click on Hope On the Slopes to make a donation to the American Cancer society and help Team Cancer Assassins race for a cure for cancer.  You can even join our team "Team Cancer Assassins" or sign up individually to compete for awesome prizes and raise money for a good cause.  Wont you join me? Lets take a run together :) Or just come on up and have some fun, you can even hear me speak at the event as the honorary guest speaker/survivor! Pretty cool huh?!

EXCITEMENT IN THE WORKS!
Knowing how important my community is to me and all of us I am calling on you, my community, to help me now.  I have big ideas for The Cancer Assassin and with a little help from all of you our there in the world, my support group, fellow wellness warriors, and healing junkies, my wonderful circle of friends and family those friends and family I have yet to meet, I can make it happen!
I want to turn this into a wellness hub full of resources and research that I have done over the past year.  I wan to help those people out there who have just been told "you have cancer" lighten their overwhelmingly heavy load.  They already have enough on their mind just coming to terms with their diagnosis.  I also want to help those who are not diagnosed with cancer keep from ever having to hear those fateful words.  I want to make either thecancerassassin.com or this blog that place (or perhaps even another site who knows...)  This is where I need your help.  I need your questions...Do a little thinking and let me know what it is that you want to know about changing to a healthy, green lifestyle.  Would you like to know what products I use? What my favorites are?  Links to places that carry them or that show the chemicals in your beauty and home products .  I want to build this around what people out there want to know and also tell them what they don't already know :)




The next thing I want to do is to sell these beautiful mobiles

Driftwood Mobile

 at the Last Thursdays on Alberta Street.  I make them myself :) out of driftwood, shells, beach glass and other trinkets.  They are much prettier in real life than in this photo.  I will try to get a better photo of one   If you would like one, send me an email thecancerassassin@gmail.com. $25 gets one shipped right to your door! How can you beat that? I am coming up with more ideas all the time, so give me a little time and you might just find something pretty cool :)










I finished my business cards.

My business cards

What do you think? I am currently working on some flyers to hand out along with my cards during the last thursdays events and at the Hope on the Slopes event at Crystal Mountain On March 1, 2011.  My hope and dream is that eventually I can raise enough money (selling the mobiles and finding investors) to open a much needed business here in Portland and in my neighborhood...drumroll please......a juice bar!  I haven't decided if I would like to open a juice bar at a specific location on Alberta or if I would like to have one that travels around to places like the Cancer Center chemo room so I can make healthy, life giving green juice for those undergoing chemotherapy....or to the Center For Traditional Medicine where my naturopath is located to make fresh juices for the patients and staff there. Who knows what can happen :)



NOT SO EXCITING NEWS :( and other distractions

My old job at the city of Redmond, replacing a fire hydrant.

I can't sleep....It is once again 2:30 in the morning and I am up typing on this blog.  2:30 has been trying to tell me something it seems.  I used to be such a morning person.  I was always up by about 6 or 7am; and loving my quiet time to slowly unfurl out into the world at my own pace.  I was usually the most productive in the mornings getting all kinds of stuff done and mental clarity, sheesh! The mornings were the time I could do some of my best thinkin'!  I got so much schoolwork done.  I used to start work at 7:30 in the morning when I worked for the City of Redmond (WA) and by the time most people were just getting to work the rest of the crew and I had already saved the city several times :)


I have done some research and found that I can save myself about $150 each month by purchasing most of my supplements online rather than at my naturopath.  Here are all the supplements I take:

Supplement/$	Manufacturer
Maxiflav/ $48.20	Scientific Botanicals Inc
CuraMed/ $92.95	Terry Naturaly
Shark Liver Oil/ $39.95	Scandinavian Formulas
Liver Support/ $48.20	Vital Nutrients
Pure Lean Nutrients w.Metafolin	Pure encapsulations/$49.50
Oncotonin/Liposomal melatonin	Cardiovascular Research Ltd
Detox Formula/$46.10	Vital Nutrients
Vitamin D3-5000IU/$25.80	Pure encapsulations
UltraPotent-C 1000/$27.80	Metagenics (.com)
UltraClear Plus/original flavor	Metagenics (.com)/$47.40
Mycelized Vitamin A/$18	Metagenics (.com)
Selenium/ $16.75	Scientific Botanicals Inc
Artemesenin/ $58.80	Allergy Research Group
Seriphos/$27.80	InterPlexus Inc (interplexus.com)
Cortisol Manager/$58.50	Integrative Therapeutics Inc
HRT Plus/$40	longevityplus.com

Jeff & I at the naturopath

Many of these (such as Shark Liver Oil, Maxiflav, Curamed, Artemesenin, Liver Support, Cortisol Manager and Detox Formula) I have to purchase 3 bottles every month since I take so many, with refills on supplements my total cost for the month just for supplements (this doesn't include the nutritional IV's that I get once each week @ $120each) hover around $1200/mo! So my total-ish for a month at the naturopath is $1680! Yikes! No wonder the savings account is getting very empty very quickly.  At this rate I will only be able to continue going to the naturopath for one more month.  I am certain that something will work itself out (perhaps I should buy that lottery ticket) and I cannot afford to spend my precious energy on stressing about money.  I will however set any of you up with the information you would need if perhaps you wanted to send a bottle of supplements my way in the mail :)  I really, REALLY hate asking for support but I am putting this out there to the universe and seeing what comes of it :)  I could not even begin to imagine how horrible I would be feeling if I was not going to the naturopath.  Many of the things they have me doing is alleviating the side effects of the chemotherapy (low red/white blood cells, low platelets, low magnesium etc) and the rest of the stuff I do there is to directly affect the cancer cells, killing them.  So it is vitally important that I continue to go to the Center For Traditional Medicine.  I have also set up another ChipIn account at the bottom of this post in case anyone is feeling a little generous :)  Just a little goes a LONG LONG way and is so very much appreciated!

MORE EXCITEMENT!
Gotta end on a happy note, right? :)

So, I am in the process of a project and I am hoping that with a little input from you it will become big!
I want to change around The Cancer Assassin page a bit, it may be this blog or it may turn out to be the website The Cancer Assassin.  Which ever it is I really want to hear from you.  My plan is to make it a place where I can share everything I have researched in the past year about how to be an advocate for your own health and wellbeing as well a my favorite products list (room by room) and links to other sites and databases where one can go to assess the toxicity of your products or to find new products or to share recipes and stories or what-ever it is that makes us happy and healthy healing junkies.  So, tell me what you want to hear, what to you want to know?  Feel free to email your responses to thecancerassassin@gmail.com .
I am looking forward to hearing from you!

Cancer Can Suck It!

Day 283

I hope you all had a wonderful end to your year.

I think that this year will bring many many wonderful things to all of us.  I feel that 2011 is going to be a big year for me.  I am leaving myself open to all the possibilities so that not a single one passes me by.

I recently got to meet my mentor Kris Carr at a book signing at Barnes and Noble in Clackamas town center.  She was so mellow and nice and I really loved her. It was a super cool day!

On a much different note, it seems that I always have some kind of what I call "brain candy" book going at all times.  You know the one I'm talking about.  The trashy novel, or the romantic heroine type novel, or a thriller/sci fi type thing, you know "brain candy".  My brain candy is usually Dean Koontz, and for anyone who has ever read Dean Koontz knows that most of the stories are really kind of all the same, but for some reason he can draw you right into the story (well at least me).  Anyway, there was a paragraph in one of his books that I just finished (Odd Hours) and I have been re-reading it for the past week now because it means a lot to me.  It sums up how I feel about some things that are going on in my life at the moment as a result of last years cancer diagnosis.

Without any further ado:

"Grief can destroy you--or focus you.  You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone.  Or you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it.   But when it's over and you're alone, you begin to see it wasn't just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill.  It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it.  The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can't get off you knees for a long time, you're driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss.  And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life."


I know a lot of you out there are V-Day haters, and that is ok :)
Every day is valentines day for me :)  We don't have to wait for valentines day to tell each other how much we appreciate them and love them and how much they mean to us.  Nor do we need to wait to pick up a little gift, a card (make it even) or a single flower, just to let someone else know that you are thinking about them.  It often makes there whole entire day and gives you that little rush as well :)

LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!
Cancer Can Suck It!